Sunday, December 21, 2008

Santa is real-only because a 3 year old convinced me he was.

We have always made it a point to let our kids know of Saint Nick and his good deeds. And how he was a real person and then how many followed in his footsteps giving gifts to children. Noahkeem on the other hand is all for Santa Claus and the reality of his existence. He requested that we see Santa at the mall this year. So we did- although we didn't get pictures taken. He is utterly convinced that Santa will deliver presents for him while he is sleeping on December 24. Sitting on his bed last week he was asking about Santa and I was answering his questions. His blind belief was beginning to change my mind about this once real yet now fictional guy who is clearly too big to fit down a chimney but manages to do so, without getting burned, and deliver presents, eat some cookies and go on to the next house. I was beginning to believe in this person in my 3 year olds mind. Sitting across the room on his bed was Rocco looking at us and listening intensely. Rocco then asked in a surprised voice, "Is Santa real ?", I then looked at him with a puzzled look on my face as though shocked he would even ask the question in the first place. I then replied with certainty in my voice, "Of course he's real!"

Saturday, December 6, 2008

In other words

I'm not an expert in temper tantrums. We haven't had many around here- Thank God. However, Little Miss Dolly who decided that she will potty train herself was cutting up the other day after changing her diaper in which she had an "accident" in. Yelling & rolling around in full fledged protest! She began to yell, "Baaa Bup, Baaaa Bup!!!!!!!" So I am looking at her with the "What, are you kidding me" look on my face and I asked her, "A pull up?" and she then calmly replied "Uh huh" and the world was at peace again. Never in my life have I ever had the experience where a child was begging for a pull up because the alternative was all too degrading. In other words, "I don't want to wear diapers anymore, I want a pull up-now!"

Saturday, November 29, 2008

"Bella" Redemptive Value

I watched the movie "Bella" the other night. Only because so many people raved about its redemptive value and how pro-life it was. At the end of the movie I couldn't believe that it was over! I guess the "redemptive value" everyone was excited about was that the unwed main character decided not to abort her baby. But the craziness of the whole film was that instead of giving the baby up for adoption or marrying the male supportive role, and having the family she expressed that she wanted "more than anything", she instead gives him the baby to raise-although it was not his child and she stays in New York living her life and at the end of the movie she comes to visit the girl-obviously for the first time when the child is about 3 or 4 years old. It was ridiculous. Moreover, she "gave" the baby to this man, who was formally her co worker to raise because years prior, he was involved in a terrible accident that resulted in the death of a little girl who was no more than 3. So I guess in the end he felt redeemed and forgiven because he had the chance to give life to the "little accidental baby" his co worker clearly did not want. The whole ending, the whole reconciliation of tragedies in both the lives of main characters was so selfish. The woman eventually decided that she shouldn't kill this child by aborting it, so she gave it away to be raised without a mother, because it was too much for her to deal with. That in itself is tragic not redemptive! She felt she couldn't be a good mom. She didn't even try! And her coworker thought that he could once again be a "good and happy" if took care of this unwanted child and prove to the world that he was not the irresponsible, careless person that was involved in a tragic accident years prior. This was redemptive? The only thing redemptive thing that I got out of the whole movie was that Jesus made it so abundantly clear, that you "being good" does not redeem you or score you points with Him. Yet we strive and strive to prove ourselves to ourselves and to others that we matter and that we are important because we are "good" and do "good"things and we volunteer, and give to the needy. It is so hard to believe and get through our heads that Jesus loves us through and through and that being good or striving thereof only leads us down around to performance orientation, where we perform to get the approval of people, and of God, which usually stems from living a childhood where we had to strive to get the approval of apparents. Know this, that He knew us before we were born, He knit us together in our mother's womb (Psalm 139). All have sinned and have fallen short of Gods Glory, but the gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23, Romans 3:23) . God came that we may have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). He wants us to experience life on our jobs, life in our families, life in our thought processes, life in our health, Life in the decisions we make, or don't make. Only He can redeem us. Only He has the power to turn around impossible situations. Yet why is it when we hurt, we blame Him and run away from Him? And why is it that when he does something for us, that can not be explained away yet by saying it was a miracle from God, we don't acknowledge Him or give Him any credit? Where is the redemptive value in that?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Never mind Proverbs 31 ! What about Proverbs 17:22?

The evidence is a bit fuzzy but that's over a pound of Cheerios on the floor. The conversation went a little something like this:

"Mommy can you get me more CEREAL????" Noahkeem usually wants his food right now.


"Spisssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (that's the sound of the Cheerios spilling on the floor)

"Haaaaaaaaaha haha haa haa ahaaaa.... Ahhhhh Hahahahah ahahahahh haa aahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"

That's the roar of laughter that we all let out because I started it all.

Now what would possess me to run and get the camera instead of cleaning up the cereal? The same reason why I always grab it when crazy stuff happens. It's just all too funny! I had to take a picture to remind myself to laugh at myself more often.

Besides, the absence of silliness and fun during the course of the day makes this momma look like she needs resuscitation of one form or another.

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22

25 Things I am thankful for

I am forever taking pictures of animals. This one I took about a year ago at a museum that has a little animal sanctuary/zoo/habitat thing going on on its property. Unfortunately this was as much as my camera would allow me to zoom in. I'm old school and I am about to revert to my slr camera that is not digital and just get the pics saved to disc when I develop them. My slr just captures my subjects with more clarity and superiority. Yet I do like the convenience of the digital cam.
Now that I have gotten all of that off my chest allow me to run down my thankful list.

Things I am thankful for:

  1. My house ; Its true, there is no place like home.
  2. My family that fills my minivan and my heart
  3. My minivan; it gets me from point A to B
  4. butterflies & moths
  5. my extended family
  6. friends near and far
  7. the smell of baby powder
  8. chalk
  9. the lake
  10. hugs from little people who should be in bed already
  11. a safe place to worship
  12. the gift of hearing
  13. the ability to discern if the cry I hear is for attention or if someone is really hurt
  14. A merciful God who gives second chances
  15. the convenience of modern appliances
  16. the ability to walk
  17. the gift of sight
  18. seeing crumbs under the kitchen table that reminds me that I have been blessed with 4 awesome kids who share with the floor.
  19. Lemonade- the most natural, corn syrup, high fructose, and dye free drink that I love in the summer time.
  20. Green grass
  21. books to read
  22. A Savior who loves me just the way I am
  23. watercolors
  24. play dough
  25. Artificial Christmas Trees; I can put it up and take it down when I want to.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

What are you talking about? God is already here.

Step by step I am realizing that God meets you where you are. Growing up I was led to believe that you are to pray, have quiet time, read the Word etc. before the crack of dawn. The more you pray, the longer you pray the more holy you will become and you should be reading your Bible through each year. This is so not true. I just don't fit into that puzzle. When Cookie was a newborn she would wake up for a 2:30 am feeding so I would keep a Bible in her room and read and have my little 15 minutes with God then. When Rocco was born, I fit my "quiet time" in where ever I could. When Noahkeem was born, I was so busy crying out to God for help and always looking for my Bible, I only prayed that God considered all of that "quiet time" Now that Dolly is 21 months, Bible reading happens before bed, prayer happens all throughout the day. Worship is changing a diaper with a spirit of excellence and showing little ones how to lift their hands and say Hallelujah before they jump off of the changing table and into my arms. We are always in the presence of God. Although I have been told we have to sing 5 songs and pray a certain amount of time, and praise the Lord in between all of that in order to "enter" into the presence of God. God is here now. He is not some far off being in the sky. He is watching as I am blogging -right now. You know what makes me smile? The fact that the Word says that he sings over us with a happy song. Zephaniah 3:17, New Living Translation says:
"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.[a] He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” That's the kind of Heavenly Father I have been waiting for. That's the kind of presence we live in, that you live in. Now go rest in Him. He's already with you.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

3 time's a charm! Only because she's a 4th child

My first born was potty trained by age 3, so was my second, my third-that's another story. My dear Dolly however, has been pooping and peeing in the potty several times a day. Yes,She is still in Diapers. I refuse to waste money on Pull-Ups with this one, she will go from Diapers to Underwear when she is completely trained.

As an American Mommy of course I'm making a big deal about all of this. If I were in the Motherland, and she had to pee, I would take her out of the sling that I no doubt would be wearing and sit her down on my feet and open my feet a little so that everything would trickle to the ground. When she was done, I would put her back into the sling and continue my work in the field/jungle. I wouldn't be blogging about it. It would just be life to me. Just a natural pattern of progression.

She seems to have done a lot of things her older sister, never attempted. She has climbed on tables and pushed around the chandelier, climbed on the outside of the stairs, holding onto the railing, hid in dark closets thinking its funny-when there is no hide and seek going on, climbed into the tub fully clothed to take another bath with her siblings. She has always helped herself to my lipstick and shared it with her big brother...the list goes on. She will always be my Dolly.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Don't even ask!

First and foremost my dear crock pot was sparking up like the 4th of July last week. The cord was kind of caught between the ceramic pot and the metal thing you sit it in and all I could say was, "Look out, Noahkeem, What just happened?" Right when I was developing a wonderful relationship with her-the crock pot.. everything just blew up. No more homemade 12 alarm chili, soup, roasted chicken, no more anything.. at least not waiting for us after church.

I am proud to say that Dolly sat on the potty today and pooped 3 times in a row! We all went up in the bathroom cheering and clapping over this natural bodily function. She's only 21 months. Now we have to get Noahkeem to do the same thing everyday, in the potty.

Why I stayed up till 2 trying to watch Iron Man, I have no idea. All I know is that when the sun was shining in the bedroom this morning, I could hardly open my eyes. When the kids asked for brownies instead of breakfast, I don't even know how I managed to cut them, hand them out, walk back upstairs, get back in bed- all with my eyes shut because I was so tired, and the sun was too bright. 30 minutes later I realized, I should start going to bed earlier and in the mean time, get up and start my day. It's so fun to be me.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

What do you do?

This is a funny question. Especially if its followed up with, what do you do for yourself. This is what I do. I teach. I take care of my kids. And that is more than some do in a lifetime. It still bewilders me when I answer this question, with a simple answer why the interviewer looks at me like I am throwing my life away. I also tell many that raising my kids is my ministry. Why on earth do I consider that a ministry? How dare I consider that? What on earth gives me the audacity to consider nose -wiping, pancake flipping and homeschooling a ministry? I have 4 minors in my full time care, placed there by the miraculous hand of God, to care for temporarily. I am called to give them food, clothes, and shelter. I am admonished to educate them in His ways over and over again. .Whether I am at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night or getting up in the morning. (CEV). Would shipping them down the street to get a secular education and unsupervised peer influence be easier, yes it would. But who is called that doesn't have to depend on God for strength, peace, and discernment?

At any given time we swing on a pendulum that either registers a clean domain or loud, utter, chaos. I now ask, Who Cares? Why do people who know nothing of me or think they do care?Why do we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others? Why do we assume others have it so much better than us? Why do we assume that others have it all together? Galatians 6:4, Contemporary English Version, "Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don't compare yourself to others". Need I say more?
My "well" is different than yours. And your idea of doing something well looks different than mine. I do not have a theological degree. But I am still a minister. I am not an accomplished musician but I am still a singer/ songwriter. Never choreographed a performance but,I am still a dancer. I am called and I answer on many levels . And that my friend is what I do. What do you do?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

It's already started

I returned some lovely spoiled meat to Walmart yesterday and they were already gearing up for Christmas. Part of me doesn't care for this time of year and I already feel myself shutting down. It's all about buying stuff that we don't need, going into debt, putting up with traffic and shoppers who run red lights, buying tons of food for a huge meal saturated in fat, salt and all the trimmings which is certain to make your blood pressure rise, your cholesterol go up and your hips wide.

I hate the fact that so many people expect you to give a gift or a card and it is not even their birthday- It's Jesus' birthday. We give Santa Claus more thought during the season than the one who created the season in the first place. Somewhere in between all that we try to squeeze Jesus in with a little pageant here and a little birthday cake there. But who are we fooling? We all know that the commercialization of Christmas rules our Holy-day. (Holiday)

I'm not crazy about Christmas shopping. But we live in a society that has groomed us into believing the true meaning of Christmas is for us to "give". And that usually means gifts.

Yet I am not a total Scrooge. I do plan to give my Children a few things. Send out a few cards and give out ornaments to a couple of my favorite people as I have been doing every Christmas for the last 4 years.

What they( the kids in this house) usually enjoy the most is firing up the Christmas Tree with all the lights and taking out all of the ornaments and of course eating what ever I put on the table December 25th. 2 years ago we grilled Italian Sausages for our Christmas meal. Last Christmas we had a simple meal of Brisket, Asparagus, Rice and Macaroni & Cheese. I'm not quite sure what I'm serving this year, I'm just concentrating on Thanks Giving.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Morning the loss of Matthew

Over the last year at least 6 hermit crabs have come into our lives and marched right out. Lastnight sometime, Matthew who has been with us only 1 month died. I knew he was on his way out because he kept staying in one corner of the tank, despite fresh water and getting spritzed occasionally. All of his legs were off and next to him when I peeked into the tank this morning. I guess that we should just stick to webkinz, they seem to have a longer shelf life around here.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The election results

The results of waiting on line only 1 hour, taking Cookie to dance, and watching the election updates til the cows came home equate to this:

Everything under my bathroom vanity taken out and "nicely" placed around the house.

One broken guardrail

a box of 13 gallon garbage bags strewn all over the living room floor

a winter coat in the hallway

dirty dishes piled high

and one 5 year old with Mary Kay night emollient cream all in his hair.

And the Democrats keep telling me change is a' comin' ? When?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I thought I never would see the day

I told my mother years ago, that there would never be a black president because no one wants a black president and if one were elected, he or she would be assassinated. I was a preteen when I made those statements Well here the day is,2008, Barack Obama is our new president. Although I do not agree with MANY of his views and politics, Our job is to honor whoever is in office.

I would admonish all of us who like to talk or throw rocks, find ways to be active and take dominion in any area of government local and beyond so that your influence, Godly influence is felt . For some reason, God wanted you to be born in this day, to see this day, and to do a work for Him in this day that he may be glorified. Let's not dishonor him by the things we say about who is or who is not in office. Lets not dishonor him by not acting when we can act and not praying when we can pray. God is in love with Democrats, Republicans, Independents and all those in between.

May God Protect our country and God Bless America. Good Night.

I'm a little slow

Obviously I don't spend every waking moment updating my blog but, then through the course of the day I say to myself, "Oh , I have to blog about this or that". Well to play a little catch up here are some of my recent happenings:
  • Noahkeem facilitated our beta fish's return to the bottom of the sea. Translation: He took him out of the 2 1/2 gallon tank, had him in his hand, squeezed him put him back in the tank, knocked over the filter in the process, gave access to Rocco so that he could put some quarters in the tank, and consequently causing "Isabelle" an untimely death.
  • I baked a delicious smelling loaf of white wheat bread and left in on the counter top at 9:00 am yesterday and 3 hours later upon my return I discovered that the bread was hacked up and mutilated because a set of 5 year old hands grabbed chunks of it and ate it at his own leisure. (This is following a warning at 7am not to do this).
  • Dolly is going around saying" Poo Poo" and "Pee Pee" and taking her diaper off. She is also starting to sit on the little potty pretending to Pee and Poop. This is a hopeful sign that she will learn early and usher us into the "No More Diaper Zone". Which is the season of life where you skip the baby isle altogether because everyone under 18 functions as a semi-independent pre-adult. (eat the same foods, with the same consistency and use the same lotions and wear clothes that aren't paper or do not have Velcro).
  • Noahkeem keeps telling us that he is a man. "I a Man". Some one in Walmart or WalMark as Noahkeem likes to say said to him yesterday, "Excuse me little man" Then Noahkeem said to me "See Mommie I am a Man!" Breaking News Flash: Little Man needs to start putting his bowl in the kitchen sink and maybe get a paper route to offset some of his "Littlemanish Liabilities".

Thursday, October 30, 2008

What had happened was......

God is just so merciful. I had a terrible headache this morning that started late last night. Then my eyes decided to join in on the party and ache too. And my nose couldn't be left out so it started running and I had to chase it with tissues and blowing. And so the minors in the house sang, yell, played the guitar, jumped on the couch ( I could hear the springs all the way upstairs) Made them selves breakfast, got themselves dressed. All without myself, The Queen Mother. Who says a 8,5,3, and 20 month old can't hold a fort down?

But all good things come to an end there was an infraction in the kingdom and I had to summons my little subjects around me so that they may state their cases as they will always have a separate version of the same story.

Back to reality.

I have been going to an awesome Seminar at my church on "Coming to Papa" The Father's Love. Here was my revelation from last night: God is here. It is as simple as that. He is with me in the house cooking, cleaning, praying, teaching, stressing, and living. He is here. And he is right there with you.

The shortest verse in the Bible: John 11:35, Jesus Wept. Tells me that Jesus was moved with emotion and he balled, even wailed because he was saddened. How much more does he understand when we are hurt or when we are disappointed or broken. No one can convince me that Jesus is some far off, aloof, tall man with a stick waiting for me to mess up so that he can punish me. He is not some man that is not affected by my life. He cares about my bad hair days, he cares about my salvation, he cares about my lost car keys.

The God we hear of as children has been grossly misrepresented to the point where most of us don't want anything to do with Him as adults. If we do know him, often we complicate our relationship with him with rules and regulations - as if that is going to appease him and keep his wrath from us. He is a loving heavenly Father and sometimes he just wants us to be. And that 's it. Be Still and Know that He is God.

Monday, October 27, 2008

There is always an alternative

I think I am leaning toward Chuck Baldwin. (This is subject to change) He is the Independent Green Party Presidential Candidate. I have been told not to waste my vote. However I concur with Chuck Baldwin that if it appears that Barack Obama is going to win why would I waste my vote on John Mc Cain?

No one from the Independent Party has ben elected since 1860 but the argument is to vote on Principle. And I like Baldwin's Principles.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Color Factor

I heard\read a disturbing comment recently about Senator Obama being the only one of "ours" running and that it was about time blah blah blah....
What disturbs me is that Color is a major factor behind these attitudes so my question is, where were "we" when Alan Keyes was running? And have "we" ignored the Green Party - Although I do not agree with their principles, Cynthia Mc Kinney and Rosa Clemente are women of Color that are running for Presidential Election. Why haven't "we" taken a look at these women? Have "we" been ignorant in thinking that the only parties to revive change in America is Democratic or Republican? Let's all be informed and make informed decisions and not vote for candidates based on skin color.

A week ago someone put a bug in my ear. "Some people say they are undecided because they don't want John Mc Cain in office and they don't want a Black Man in either" I am beginning to believe there is an of truth in this. Sure non-blacks support Obama but, where does the rest of the country stand?

I don't think America has changed that much over the last 48+ years. No I am not that old but, I know what I see. I know what I hear. I know what I have experienced.

When I was 8, a fellow classmate said, Oh I don't like going to that Roller Skating Rink because they're are too many "Colored People" there. Why she would say this around another "colored person" was indicative of the household she was brought up in.

As an adult a woman said to me how unsafe she felt when she was lost in a black neighborhood. For some reason she felt compelled to tell me this given I am black.

As an adult I have been followed by a police officer driving around several blocks alone in a Mercedes, in Monmouth County, in a predominately non-black neighborhood. The Police did not pull me over but followed me . I then purposely turned down streets, that led the long way to the highway and he kept following. Every turn I made, he made until I made my way to a major highway which was the county's line to the next town.

I have been in a boutique in New York with my mother and I was asked not to try on any clothes by the owner.

I have been in restaurant with Big D and after waiting 15 minutes for a menu and waiter/waitress we left for not being served. I know it was racial.

I have been told as an adult when I was about to register to vote that you are black so you have to vote democrat.

Please don't tell me things in this great country have radically changed, they have changed some but nothing radical.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


I am in no wise an animal rights activist. Yet on my travels down the lovely Eastern Shore last weekend I saw at least 4 chicken trucks. For those of you that do not know what chicken trucks are they are the mode of transportation the chickens ride in on their way to their deaths.

Thank God for portable dvd players. The kids eyes were glued to a movie each time one of these trucks passed us on the highway. Unlike the picture here, the trucks we saw were 18 wheelers and they had at least 5 chickens to a crate.

I can't even explain the stench in the air as we passed by chicken waste plants and the Tyson and Perdue Plants. It smelled worse than any landfill, garbage truck---- It was just plain nasty. It just grossed me out and of course my brain keeps reminding me that chicken eggs are just unfertilized chicken embryos. Should I be eating them?

The funniest thing about all of this is that it did not stop me from buying a slab of chicken breast today at the grocery store.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's my blog and I'll blog if I want to.

I haven't completely disappeared from blogland but, I have just been doing the laundry thing and staying away from any electronic field-except my cell phone.

I have to say a lot has been on my mind with the presidential election right around the corner.

Here is my list of thoughts about life and America.


-Don't assume that all Blacks/African-Americans/people of Color are democrats.

-Don't assume that Republicans/Independents and other political parties you have never heard of are sell outs, weird, or plain ignorant.

-I don't want the government telling me how to raise and educate my children, why would I want more of them in my private life and business just to keep digging further into my purse?

-Please don't keep feeding me Pro-choice A La Carte Philosophy. Better known as "It depends on the situation if a woman should get an abortion". Here is my experience, the people that I have heard of having abortions are usually the ones that feel children are an inconvenience and a burden but, found it convenient & uplifting enough to be sexually active
in the first place-Married, Single and otherwise.

-I am still waiting for doctors and abortionist to deliver statistics on how many mothers lives were in danger and needed to abort thier children.

-Don't beat me over the head about what if my child was assaulted and becomes pregnant. Do people who are pro life, live breath and eat and teach pro life on more levels than just pregnancy and value the sanctity of life suddenly become pro choice and want to abort a child that is half theirs although they did not ask for the terrible, terrible misfortune of being assaulted? I don't know, maybe they do? Maybe they don't.

-Don't give me the talk about, "keeping an unwanted child, who's gonna take care of it?" etc. when there are thousands upon thousands of couples waiting to adopt and are even willing to financially support and unwed mother during her pregnancy in hopes of they themselves will become parents to the blob of tissue that has been dubbed a fetus.

-Don't let your political views drive a wedge between your relationships. It is a privilege to vote but not a right to lambaste others until they are utterly convinced that you are voting the right ticket. More often than not, you can not convince them.

-Is it actually possible that the millions of babies that were aborted held the keys to healing illnesses that we suffer from or solving even preventing the financial crisis that America is facing? I guess we will never know.

-No matter who, and I mean No matter who wins the election we are admonished by the Word of God to honor who ever is in charge of this land. Isn't it obvious by now that God can and will use anyone? Even Baalams Donkey?

-If you are not going to vote because you think it's not going to make a difference, don't complain for the next 4 years.

-If you are going to vote, be informed and in prayer about this election and the future and safety of our country.

And no matter how you look at it, God is still on the throne whether you believe in Him or Not.

On that note I will put my soap box away and proceed to revolutionize my kitchen into the meticulous work of culinary art that it is suppose to be. Good Night.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Here's the answer I have been waiting for.

For 5 years now, I have been blessed by the ministry of Nancy Campbell. She has been an inspiration to many women and is very much Pro-Life. Pro-Life when it comes to family, Pro-Life when it comes to Being a mother, Pro-Life when it comes to eating the right things, and Pro-Life when it comes to your joy tank being full as you walk within your calling as a mother. Today I got an email which put a lot to rest. She has been one of my Titus 2 moms. And to all the moms out there who have embraced there calling: "You go Girl!"


Zechariah 8:12 (NLT), "I believe, therefore have I spoken."

"Who am I? Have you sighed these words on your difficult mothering days? It's a good question, for if you don't know who you are, you will flounder in life. Fortunately, it's not a hard question to answer. God created you uniquely, like nobody else on earth, with special gifts that no one else has. But, transcendentally, you are a mother. You have an in=born urge to nurture. If you don't want to mother children, you will find yourself mothering something else, maybe your pet dog or cat. It is distinctive to us as females. God created you with a womb and with breasts to nurture and nourish life. Why not embrace who you are? Be the best at who God created you to be instead of running from it. Start enjoying it. Disarm the feminists! Disown the lies! Destroy the deceptions and delight in motherhood. How? By exploding with joy. You have the privilege of bringing children into the world for God's purposes, children who will live forever. By telling the world you are proud to be a mother. Away with inferiority that's a lie! Away with feeling insignificant; that's not true! Away with the thoughts that you were called to do something more important; that's a humanistic lie! Next time someone asks you what you do in life, beam with joy and shout, "I am a mother! I have the most blessed career in the world."

The next time someone sees you with all your children in tow and asks, "Are all these yours?" put on a bigger smile, from ear to ear, and shout, "Yes, I am so blessed." Or, "Yes, we love children so much we are hoping for more." Or, "Yes, we're just getting started!" Or you could even say, "Yes, they are. But where are your children?" "Oh, they're' at school. We could only afford to have two." "How very sad," you reply. "You must often feel bored and lonely. We live such a full and exciting life." Give another beaming smile and leave them speechless, ready to disarm the next person who makes a negative comment. Going out with all your children will become such fun. It will be even more exciting as you train your children for adverse comments about family. When you have answered your critic, the children can also put on their beaming smiles and all say in unison, "God bless you, Madam."

What if someone says, "DON"T YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP HAVING CHILDREN?" Or "Are you planning to have any more?" \ With a smile and twinkle in your eyes, you could answer, "It's conceivable." What if some dear soul comments, "You have your hands full." "We're working on it," you reply. "We are blessed with five; only five more to go!" Put your shoulders back. Lift up your head. Put a big smile on your face and disarm the anti-child advocates. You'll begin to change the world around you! You'll be speaking on the behalf of God who loves life and loves children. You'll be destroying the deceptions of Satan who hates life and seeks to destroy it. What a mission. Have fun.


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

That loving feeling

There is always something about seeing newborn babies that makes me feel mushy. When I was little I kept at least 50 stuffed animals and dolls on my bed. Cookie is following in my footsteps- at least with the doll/animal collection.

I saw a baby on TV last night, then 2 newborns at the Library today. Which I probably would have never seen if Rocco and Noahkeem were'nt asked to come get me during storytime because Noah banged his head on the floor because he and Rocco were rough housing. (Can you imagine that - boys rough housing- during storytime?) Anyhow. My Quiver a.k.a. minivan is full. And just to think I thought about stopping at one.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I tried to put it in words but, it was already done for me.

How deep the Father's Love for us

by Stuart Townsend

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

Saturday, September 27, 2008

A Lovely Day

Today we participated in an Asthma walk a thon for Cookie. It was a wonderful day rain and all. Our team won the prize for Best Team T-Shirt. And of course, the day did not end with out Noahkeem walking through puddles, stepping in mud and tripping down the hill. He always makes me smile and reminds me that he is definately 3.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Father's Love

All that really matters is to be utterly convinced and certain of the Father's Love for us.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

It all started with a question about New York

Cookie asked me what I liked the most about New York City and I told her the tall buildings. But I also miss the buzz and the energy of the City. I miss driving down the Henry Hudson and zipping over to River Side Drive. I miss taking "short cuts" to get to the GWB only to find out they turned out to be long cuts. I miss the sound of my shoes hitting the concrete, taking me where I want to go when a cab would have gotten me there in half the time. I miss the sounds of horns blaring in the air. And the people.
Pre-Kids we used to go to a Starbucks in Times Square. Probably the biggest one I have ever been in and of course always crowded. There one evening I discovered chocolate covered blueberries and chocolate covered espresso beans. So I did what any latte lovin' person would do. I bought several boxes and rationed them out to the ones I loved.
Getting to the City now is a several hundred mile jaunt. The traffic that surrounds me now is a tad bit different. One thing is yet the same, the majesty of God is in the Metropolis as it is in the Country. His mercy still endures to all generations. He loves all people, everywhere. Whether they are black or white, rich or poor, lost or found, male or female. His love is never quenched by idiosyncrasies that keep people separated. Nothing we do or say will change how He feels about us. Nothing anyone says, will change the way He feels about us. And I think that is down right awesome! God loves us through and through! And no one can take that away from you!
I rest that I am in the palm of His Hand. Isaiah 49:15-17, "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 16Behold I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me." He has not forgotten us. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning great is Thy faithfulness". Lamentations 3:22-23.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Mental Health Day

Today started off as "Lets watch family home videos day" because it was raining. When the kids went upstairs to get dressed, I shut down the home theater. Noahkeem has been using the potty today... Thank God. And he only had one accident - Thank God again. I hope this is the beginning of something beautiful... Something beautiful as in having one child in diapers/pull ups. This potty train (the whole ride and act of potty training) has been a work in progress and regress. Since March. I am tired of hearing the do's and dont's of potty training.. The best thing to do is to do it when the child is ready, when you're ready and when you have the patience and block of time to do it all.

By the Way.. I thought Isabelle had bitten the dust (Isabelle the newest hermit crab) but, she is still alive and crabbin. Yet each time one dies, I think, "That's it, no more Hermit Crabs". But I always end up getting another. I now want to don the play room with a fish tank. It will give the kidderinos something else to watch besides the TV.

And finally, Dolly is officially a member of the "Lets raid the pantry before mom gets downstairs" team. She initiated herself by helping herself to the last of the marshmallows.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11th

7 years ago I called big D at work to make sure he was okay... He worked in Manhattan. As I was talking to him an air plane (plane#2) went across the television screen and slammed into the 2nd tower of the World Trade Center... I just gasped in horror.. The post office closed early. Children were dismissed from schools early, Grocery stores were empty. The George Washington Bridge was shut down... and a ride to Manhattan that easily took 20 minutes turned into an 8 hour ordeal for my husband to get home. For days to come all eyes were glued to the television.

I remember the somberness days after. We ate in a restaurant in Ridgewood NJ and there were posters of Missing Persons.... in my heart and probably in the heart of their loved ones they knew they were not missing... Standing on a pier across the Hudson River I witnessed the smoke smoldering for weeks.

I can't begin to convey the fear/concern for my husbands safety of boarding buses and going through tunnels to get to and from work after 9/11---- There are no safety measures for buses - thus they are easy targets for suicide bombers and their are no safety measures for tunnels.. After leaving the New York Metro area 5 1/2 years ago, I realized how far removed many people I met felt from the events of 9/11. I couldn't seem to shake the feeling of loss that my former community experienced. I couldn't stop thinking of the many lives that were snuffed out and whether or not they had time to whisper a prayer. I thought about The World Trade Center Marriott...where I stayed a few years prior on my wedding night. I couldn't help but think that so many people were caught unaware and forced into eternity. Employees, Guests, People sleeping, swimming, eating, taking showers, having meetings etc.. All caught off guard.

Several weeks later I went to Manhattan and visited a memorial that was erected at a church near Ground Zero. The iron gates were saturated with flowers, pictures, candles, posters, and pictures drawn by young and old alike.

There were of course people who used this situation for publicity.. making false calls to 911 personnel and stating that they were caught under the rubble and weren't. How sick can you get? Of course there were people who blamed George Bush and other political leaders for this atrocity. How dare they?

Over the last seven years since 9/11 one thing I do know for sure is that I have been safe. There have been no bullets whizzing over my head or my house at night. I have clean drinking water. I don't have to look over my shoulder when I go to my house of worship. Although living under the threat of terrorist, I have been kept safe. And I am thankful to all who are in leadership in this country who are vigilant and those who are active military who fight for our freedom. Because Freedom is never free. May God Bless America today and always.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Check them out!!!!

Please Check out Rocco and Cookies Blog. They have only worked on it twice since starting it but plan to keep it up.


Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say, Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight.... Then how the reindeer loved him and they shouted out with glee.......

Isn't it sad how people who are different get ridiculed and called names, gossipped about under the guise of intercession and ostracized because they are different or have problems? Then here comes Jesus who recognizes the individual we deem different, a nerd,a skank or the like and says, "You are beautiful, could you lead my people?". Just as Santa asked Rudolph to guide his sleigh.

And could someone tell me why is it that when the hideous odd ball is recognized by Jesus or someone we feel is important or more perfect than ourselves, we then love the odd ball or at least pretend we do? What was it about Santa picking Rudolph that made all the reindeer love him when 5 minutes before that they were cracking down on him for having a big red schnoz?

How many people have we judged, laughed at, talked about until we find out they are not so different than ourselves or they are playing for the same team that we are on? Are we that perfect, flawless, superior and intellectual that we have a free pass to disregard someone who is different than us? Do we ever think that the same God who is love with us is in love with them? Or are we blinded by our disgust at those who are less fortunate, less educated, more emotionally distressed than ourselves that we cant even think along these lines? Jesus put it this way, Whatever we do to the least of these, we have done it unto Him.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Its all school!

Sometimes home school is just stopping and addressing issues of the heart. Walking out all that you heard in Sunday Morning Service and trying God to see if He is real. We put the text books down. We talked, hugged, and cleaned 1 safety hazard--- I mean bedroom today. But what was learned? Dependence on God- the one who created us. Forgiveness, Compassion, Dependence on others who may have tools that we need to get a job done, cooperation,---Things that you just don't get from well meaning cartoon characters who try to convey in humanistic stories of courage void of God but filled with all of the encouragement to believe in yourself and not the one who gives you breath.

One thing I have learned is that in my weakness He is strong- His strength is made perfect just as His Word promises.

The day is over and the kids are singing worship songs, and other diddies, dancing, and playing on bongos as loud as the can. Packing popcorn is strewn all over the living room floor and hallway and I have a strong inclination to stop blogging and join in all the festivities.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Its that time of year again!

I am happy to say-if I haven't already that we started school in August and will ease into Language Arts this month. This school year and many to come, always remember that your school is not going to look like your friends or strangers for that matter. Your school will look like the way you design it given your children and their learning styles. Your school will reflect your values and as much or little of God as you let in. I can't help to say that in our quest to teach and make sure our children have the best curriculum there is to offer what is gonna last forever is God's Word in their hearts. It's so easy to put Academics first and let Gods word fall by the way side. Don't get me wrong academics are important. Gods Word and knowing Him is also important and shouldn't be neglected. It's not the Sunday School teachers job or the Youth Pastors job to teach Godly principles to our children. (See Deuteronomy).
I don't think we need anything elaborate to teach God's word to our children. God is so creative that if you ask Him how to demonstrate His Word and make it come alive for your children, He will give you ideas and the words to say.

My prayer is that your home school be blessed with the pursuit of the knowledge of Him. May both you and your children seek God with all your heart. May we quote scripture with the same passion that we quote our favorite lines from movies, tell our favorite jokes, and sing our favorite songs.

God wants to strengthen you as you fulfill the call of homeschooling this year. Isn't it wonderful to know that He cares about every detail regarding our homeschooling year? Isn't it awesome that He wants to bear the brunt of what you take on or let weigh on your shoulders? He told us to cast all of our cares upon Him because, He cares for us. He's not mad at us, Hes Mad about us!

Take care to cast your cares on Him this School Year! Be Blessed.

Monday, August 25, 2008

What I don't understand is......

Why is it that when a celebrity who is single gets pregnant its glamorous and when a non celebrity gets pregnant it's scandalous?

Why is it that when a teenager is pregnant she's scorned and is never praise for not aborting her baby?

Why is it that there are many in the media and not so famous who complain about how terrible the United States is but, continue to live here?

Does anyone know why some states have to pay fast food tax on top of all of the other lovely taxes?

How is it that you can't put your hands on the camera when something silly happens with the kids?

Why does the baby always seem to put food in her hair when your not looking?

Why does she like putting food in her hair?

Where do mosquito's go in the winter?

What happened to all of the buses that are out of commission from 30-40 years ago?

Who do our doctors use as their doctors?

How does time fly when other times it seems to stand still?

Counting my blessings.

Things I am grateful for:

  1. The gift of eye sight
  2. The ability to walk
  3. Family
  4. Home School
  5. Cookie Dough Icecream
  6. Cotton shirts
  7. Sunflowers
  8. My Bread Machine
  9. Freedom of religion
  10. The New York Bus, aka my minivan
  11. A place to call home
  12. Paper
  13. Sticky fingers to clean
  14. The gift of hearing
  15. The ability to talk
  16. The ability to read
  17. Yard Sales
  18. Clean drinking water
  19. Friends
  20. Butterflies
  21. The Beach
  22. Fine tip pens
  23. Literature
  24. Our hammock
  25. Music

It's so easy to think that we need more to make us happy when we are often surrounded by everything we need and extras that make us smile. What are you grateful for today?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Children are a blessing.

I had to post this picture of Noahkeem falling down the stairs at the play area at the Children's museum last month. Because I was with the 2 older ones, I can't say if he was doing this on purpose or he really slipped. I don't remember any tears so, he must not have gotten hurt.
So since my last post Big D celebrated a birthday. We went to the beach for several hours , then lunch, then home for naps, then Cake and Java Chip icecream for dinner. Yes, I said for dinner. Cookie and I stayed up late the night before making a home made carrot cake. It was so yummy! So much so I had some for lunch today with a cup of tea.
Rocco is loving home school! Loving it. He is so proud that he can count to 100 and recognize all of his numbers. His little face just lights up when I quiz him on his number chart-He thinks it's a game and in some ways it is.
Life has been so funny lately. Over the last week or so, I have gotten an influx of the "Your hands are full-type comments". I even got one today-and just smiled. The 2 that opened up brief conversation the most revolved around how the summer would be over soon and the children would be off to school. Imagine the faces when I say that I home school. Most of the time my chickadees are well behaved and they are a joy to be around. There are moments- rare as they are, when their behavior coincides with the tides and the full moon and they let their presence be known. What is sad to me is that so many think that if you have a lot of kids (like 4 is alot LOL), that you are burdened, and every ounce of you is waiting for the yellow school bus to come get them out of your hair. Of course all parents at some time get tired or need a break but, I don't feel my children are lice that I have to get out of my hair or little rodents that I want to rid myself of so that I can "live my life" for the 6-8 hours that they are in "school". I try to bear in mind that kids will be kids. Sometimes LOUD and sometimes quiet. And sometimes they will hide under the clothing racks in the department store, try on hats, and jackets twice their size. This annoys store personnel, but sometimes I can't help but bust out and laugh-loud. Sometimes you have to call there names several times and redirect one or two or maybe even all four of them 10 times in less than 5 minutes but, that is in no way a cry or plea to be rescued by the government.
The loudness and belly laughs are a sign of life and we are living it up.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I've been Busy

Isn't that title a given with 4 kids? Well we have already begun math. Noahkeem even wants to have his "School Time" I can tell already that he has an affinity for glue sticks and markers.

I have decided to do and it has already made a huge difference. I am not suffering from CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome). My sink shines-everyday and my hubby has notice the difference. I no longer have baby tub toys in my jetted tub. I have official reclaimed this as my personal spa. I also managed to give away over 35 pounds of clothes over the last 2 weeks.

Yesterday we went to a beach that we have only been to once since living here (for 5 years). It was absolutely relaxing. The beach is a huge babysitter. There is something about sand, water and shells that keep the little ones occupied. We packed a lunch, a few toys and sunscreen and stayed about 3 hours. We would have gone back today if it weren't cloudy. I am still loving the quietness that comes when its an overcast type day.... God is good, all the time.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

What did Jesus do?

I am so curious how Jesus acted as a little boy. Did he tease his brothers? Fill up the bathroom sink with Windex and water? Did he climb in the pantry and sneak candy? Did he loose his sandals-everyday? Did he cry and keep his mom up when he was teething? Did he eat his vegetables?

Thursday, July 31, 2008

It's up to you

I thank God for the opportunity to receive His Son as my Savior many years ago-Before I had kids. Now, I need Him more than ever.

But the more I try to walk this walk, I realize, No one is going to care more about you than you. No one is going to love your children more than you-ideally. It's up to you to surround yourself with every God breathed, God ordained resource to help you fulfill your call on your life as a Mother. Sometimes that means letting go of a lot of "good things" for God things. Letting go of toxic people, toxic entertainment and toxic food - all of which will kill your mind, body, and spirit.

If you don't care for you, who will? (And yes I know God loves, and cares for us-But there are certain choices and avenues that only you with God can take in order to be free and who you were designed to be. And that my friend is a life long process).

Monday, July 28, 2008

Another Day in the Land of Mommyhood

Our Days are sometimes filled with all the phrases that we can't get away from:

-Don't do that
-Don't say that
-Come here
-Come back
-Jesus, please help me!
-Don't hit
-Don't call names
-Listen and obey!
-The baby is sleeping
-Leave him alone
-Leave her alone
-Sit down
-Give that back
-Go outside
-Go play
-No TV right now
-We will not have candy for breakfast
- Don't poop in those big boy pants
- Don't throw the ball in the house
-I Love you

And then we get back up the next day and do it all over again.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Cookie turned 8 yesterday!

Well the home made pinata did not get made and Cookie still had a great birthday.
The Ice Cream birthday cake was definately home made.

What we did:

-Took the ferry to the children's museum

-Played at the children's museum

-Took the ferry back to the car

-Went to Cracker Barrel

-Got a Webkinz at Cracker Barrel

-Went to the Mall

-Got Cookies ears pierced

-Got stuck at the mall due to the thunderstorm

-came home

-had homemade ice cream cake (Strawberry layer/oreo cookie layer-crushed by hand/chocolate layer).

-opened last 2 gifts

-made home made mac and cheese

-heated up those lovely little pizza rolls

-made a salad that no one ate except for Big D

-cleaned kitchen


-gave boys and Dolly a bath

-Helped Cookie with shower

****Crashed in Bed with the lovely blue glow of the television for company.

One of the memories that I shared with Cookie yesterday was that very late at night (around 1:00am ) 8 years ago. I had to go to the potty and a nurse asked if I wanted her to take Cookie for a little while (She was the head nurse on the floor -and very young to have such a position). So after I went to the potty I realized I gave this "nurse" my baby what if she kidnaps her? SO I peeked my head out of the door and waddled down to the hallway to find the nurse with Cookie over her shoulder and the staff all sitting around in a staff meeting at the nurses station. It was the cutest scene to see this itty bitty baby, a whole 6 lbs in her first staff meeting. I then got her and went back down the hall---I don't remember what happened next. One thing I do know is that I have spent the last 8 years searching for the baby manual on how to take care of Cookie and realized that the hospital forgot to give it to me and I have been resorting to the Bible ever since.

I love my little Cookie --all 8 years of her!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Everything changes

Well Cookie is almost 8...which totally dates me. But, I am excited. She wants to get her ears pierced and get a new Webkinz and eat at Cracker Barrel for lunch. She also wants a ice cream cake and little chocolate cupcakes. I don't know if we will do the pinata or not , although I still have candy and treats left from the last time that we can put in there. Better yet lets just spend the next couple days making a Pinata.

I decided to do Fly Lady. I was following my cleaning schedule faithfully until Dolly was born-17 months ago. LOL. It is so heartbreaking to hear how homeschoolers have a reputation for having sloppy houses. Why do we? Especially if we all have about 50 children on average, can't we train them and ourselves to put stuff away, throw stuff out, and clean up messes? My house doesn't look like a hotel and it proudly boasts that kids live here but the books and toys and blocks are growing out of the rug in a lot of the rooms and its a monster that has to be tamed. Yes, my cup runneth over! But you know God always seems to bless me when I give stuff away. So, If I give away tons more, Tons more is bound to come my way. But, if I stop giving, I'll still be stuck with stuff that I want to give away. Is selling my next step?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The next day

We made it through the math portion of the test. Woo hoo. But, Cookie rushed to get done to watch TV... Wrong move. I told her not to worry about the TV and the show she wanted to see will be on later in the afternoon. I don't even feel like talking about it.

I cleaned out Rocco & Noahkeems closet and found several pounds of boys clothes size 12months-4years that they will not be using again. Dolly's closet and Cookies closets seem to be under control. Yet there is still too much stuff, clothes, books, and toys. I would love to sell a bunch of the stuff but its so much easier to just give it away and get it out of my house. Email me if you want some stuff. Now I'm complaining.

Hungry bellies await. I must go fix lunch for all of the residents.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I Love taking animal Pictures. This one is from the zoo. I was leaing over the fence and took it of a goat that was deep in thought in the summer heat.

Well we completed Part I of our standardized test ....Well Cookie's test. Tomorrow we tackle the math section and then I told the kiderinos that if it was nice I would lug everyone to the beach.. No I did not use the word lug. Or maybe we will go to the pool.

Over the weekend, I was talking with someone about how it is so key to refresh yourself as a mom to many. And how it is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the day and look around at the end of the day and realize that you had no prayer time, no bible time, no quiet time. The reality of this life (with many) is that you can not give out of an old empty dried up well. Because what will come forth will be dank dark and cold and the least bit refreshing or life giving to the little people around you. And when you have so many responsibilities and peoples needs to meet---please don't make me run down a list-- Bible Reading, Meditating, and Prayer is not something that you are suppose to do in order to be a Good Little Christian. You need the Word, You need to meditate on it and You need Prayer. You really begin to need those things. And when you don't incorporate them in your day or morning or in your life the fruit you bear reflects it. Especially the fruit of your lips... Trust me I know. And my fruit isn't always pretty.

No one is going to shake us up and say, "Read the Word, Pray, Focus on God".. Well maybe someone will but, my point is , is that we, Me, You, and any one else in between can't wait to be prodded to fall in love with Jesus. Sometimes there is such a thirst- a dehydration and the well is right there but, we are too busy to drink, to tired to drink, to lazy to drink. Some times I just want someone to bring the water and the answers to me but, God doesn't always work like that. He designed us so intricately that He has told us that if we seek Him, we would find Him, Knock and the door would be opened. I am just taking inventory of all of the unnecessary things that serve as "busyness or a distraction" . Busyness and distraction are tools that are used to separate us from the God who so desperately loves us and is jealous for us.

I was never one to make new years resolutions and my new year always started in September with the new school year anyway. But, the God of second chances to the infinite degree has made it so we don't need to wait till tomorrow to begin loving Him today. I know in my Heart that we spend the most time with the things we love the most. Are we cheating on Him and expecting supernatural strength and wisdom and millions of blessings? Yet what blows my mind is that God is slow to anger and full of mercy ! So unlike our earthy relationships at times. How awesome is that? We kick God to the curb, because we don't have time for him and then when we do have the time he is still there with his arms out stretched!

My prayer tonight is that anything in my life that has been built up as an idol be revealed and or knocked down. Everything seeking to seduce me in the opposite direction of my savior would loose its power. And those things be revealed that I may freely walk away and choose Christ anew each day. That everything that is not profitable for my soul, be let go. That I would Choose the lover of my soul before I get sucked in to the deception of busyness=productivity. Let my good busy be pleasing to the Lord and show me how to create balance with Family and Friends as not to make either one an idol.

From Everlasting to Everlasting you are God!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

My Solo Saturday

3 major activites today and everyone escapes without bumps or bruises

Get up
Fix breakfast
Get kids ready for day
Say bye to hubby-he has to go to work all day into the wee hours of night
Drop Kid #1 off to the Y
Take kid#2 to t-ball, along with kids 3 &4
Go back to Y after Tball
Put kids 2,3, &4 into child care
Get coffee at Y look at a magazine
Peak into kid #1's Karate class twice
Get kid #1
Pick kids 2,3, &4 form child care
Go to snack machine
Go home
fix lunch
Pack beach stuff for party at the beach for 2pm
Go to grocery store for h2o, balloon and a few other things
Go back to house -forgot something
Get on highway
Follow directions
missed turned
called host
found way to right beach at 2:40 or so
stayed at the beach til about 6:00
came home
hosed down sandy kids 3 &4
fixed left overs
Kids 3&4 run around and play
kids 1&2 play somewhere in house quietly
check favorite blogs
take kids upstairs
rinse off kid #4 again
let kids 1&2 have a sleep over in kid #1s room
snuggle with kid #3
get kid #4 who is screaming in crib
break up disastrous sleep over
put kid #4 back in crib
tuck kid #2 in
Lay in bed with kid #3
kiss kid #3 good night----which reminds me I didn't kiss kid #2 good night
tell kid #1 its lights out
kiss kid #1 goodnight
get wet sandy carseat cover off of kid #3s car seat-bring inside house
go back upstairs clean up carseat-hang it up
go back downstairs reload dishwasher, wash few left in sink
put new trash bag in garbage can
wipe down counters and high chair
head up stairs
check favorite blogs again
go to log out
go to my site and blog
and then suddenly realize, There is a mountain of clothes forming on my side of the room in need of folding that will have to wait for the early am hours when I am well rested and energetic enough to fold them.

And that is the abbreviated version.

And as night falls on the most beautiful state in the union, I must say, I love my kids, my sand filled van and the beach bag that sits so prominently in the kitchen.

And the clothes unfolded only serve to remind me that we chose to make memories today.

Monday, July 7, 2008

"Mommy can't we just call the store?"

As we got in the New York bus (our mini van) to go to Karate I notice that we left the milk in the car after grocery shopping. 3 1/2 hours in the car. Hot Milk... Yum! So after I said, "Oh no the milk is spoiled we left in the car!" Cookie asked me if we could just call the store. She thought that we could call them and tell them what happened and they would give us 2 new cartons. LOL. So I ended up pouring the milk down the drain and went on to the Y. I actually went to beginners Pilates which I haven't been to in about 2 years and I thought that I was going to pass out. People assume because you are slim that you are in shape. My hamstrings hurt. My neck hurt and my legs felt heavy and it was hard to breathe. And yes I felt like the tired little calf in the picture above. It was so enjoyable I'm going to go back next week.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

But then I realized

Here is the light bulb moment. I am sure I have said it before. No self help book, manual, seminar is going to change you. You can read and read and bounce from one seminar or retreat to another but the only thing that will change a heart is the redeeming power and supernatural power of God. It is so much easier to pick up a book than the Bible or to get on the phone rather get on my knees. Somehow we think we can change things in our own power. Yet, I know in my heart it's only God that redeems, restores, delivers and gives second, third, fourth and fifth chances. David, in the Bible did not have a therapist when he was depressed or caught up in adultery. Reading the Psalms i'ts clear that he cried out to God. He just cried out. And God stil considered him a man after His own heart.
I am not done with this walk of Forgiveness yet. I must learn to forgive my imperfections and not to wallow in self pity. But what conversation do you have with your self when you need to forgive yourself? Do you say, "Self?"
and answer "Yes self."
then reply "would you please forgive me?"
and then say, "Yes, I forgive my self"?
The cry of my heart is still mercy. None of us will reach 100% perfection otherwise there will be no need for a Savior and definitely no need for us to be here. I am convinced that God has orchestrated our lives in such a way that he gives us ample opportunity to reach out and cry out to Him. He is so just that he gave us the choice to run to him or run away from him. Which will we choose today?

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Making a deposit at my local friendly bank

Dolly went to her first fire works display on the 3rd-because my town does fireworks on the 3rd and a parade and craft fair on the 4th. I was surprised that she wasn't scared since she doesn't like loud motors I assumed she definitely wouldn't like fireworks.

I brought the crew to the bank on Wednesday for a deposit. We had to go inside this time. LOL. I'm not crazy about this particular branch but, it's close to home. So we go in and here I am with my mega double stroller trying not to bang into anything. The kids race over to the fish tank to look at the fish. There is all but 1 smiling face in the whole branch. So Cookie picks up Noahkeem to see the fish and I think his foot hit the stand and some shirt said, "AH, No banging on the glass please". So in my annoyed mom voice I told the kids to come over by the stroller. (I was more annoyed that this guy wasn't doing his paperwork and more concerned with kids by the 100+ gallon tank-which was impossible to break even if we all banged on it). Then the kids looked up at the flat screen monitors and said" Look, I'm on TV!" "Look Mom, You're on TV!" Every time I looked my head was in a different direction (there were 3 surveillance cameras). The woman behind the counter was still processing our deposits and all of the other tellers had blank looks on their faces as if they had never seen children before- it was the oddest thing. Rocco was really into being on TV. So he kept moving back to see himself and he was moving from side to side laughing and smiling. And all of a sudden I busted out laughing too! And I couldn't stop! I was laughing so hard I was doubled over holding my sides. Then I told them what camera to look at so they can be on TV again. And we were all laughing. In the midst of this roar of laughter, the teller completed our transaction. And at the same time, Rocco backed up and knocked over a tripod that had a poster board advertisement on it. And I busted out laughing again and as I went over to him to help him up and pick up the display, Fish Patrol came over and said- "It's okay, I got it , I got it". I was no helped because even as the man was trying to help, I couldn't stop laughing. I went and got the stroller and said, "Goodbye everyone" to the tellers and people at their desks and told the kids to say good bye. They didn't stop saying goodbye until we closed the doors behind us. That was the best belly laugh I had in a long time and it was worth every minute of it! Should we go back next Wednesday just for fun?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

It's almost Christmas and I'm not perfect yet.

Is it me or has anyone else noticed that Christmas is 6 months away? Rocco reminded me last night that he can't wait for Christmas... "I like getting presents". Why should Christmas as comercialized as it is be about anything but presents? Sure we bake Jesus a birthday cake and put on our own nativity play but, how does any one keep the focus off presents? I am really trying to enjoy the Christmas season but, it's so filled with hoopla and self inflicted pressure or outside pressure to give gifts to people and mail out cards and be nice and cheery often to people who you don't even have contact with (for whatever reason )the rest of the year.

Sad to say my 2007 Christmas Cards are here, still on my desk. I think I will mail them out this month and not even bother doing a Christmas card this Christmas. Health issues amongst other things prevented me from mailing them in the first place. But I'm Supermom. I was suppose to be able to do it all. You know one thing about motherhood that I have learned these last 8 years? No one notices if you do everything but, everyone notices if it isn't done. I am trying not to be "weary in well doing" I am just ready to reap.

So in all of this venting, It's time to repost Invisible Mom.

INVISIBLE MOM by Nicole Johnson

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible; “The Invisible Mom.”Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?” I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, and she’s gone!One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”In the days ahead I would read - no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “you’re gonna love it there.”As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Great Job, MOM!

Monday, June 30, 2008

Who needs Cracker Barrel?

Well half of us went to church today.. Dolly had a fever. We were fashionably late of course. Which meant that I had zero time to put the brisket in the crockpot. So after we got home I decided that we were going to have our breakfast-Which of course I didn't have time to eat before we left for church. So I threw some heart cloggers, I mean strips of beef bacon into the pan, fried the last of the eggs, and made I don't know how many pancakes on the griddle. When it was all over, bellies were full and I was happy. Unfortunately I didn't make myself a cup of coffee- which I rarely make myself anyway but, it would've been nice.

After my cafe b.k.a. kitchen was cleaned up, Rocco and I went to 7 eleven where he got a Slurpee and then I took him to the mall so we could find some sneakers. The first store we went to had sneakers but, I don't believe in buy shoes for $50.00 plus tax for 5 year olds. So we went on to Payless. Now you got to understand that I made the huge mistake of buying him Sneakers that lit up several months ago. Something I vowed I would never do. So he naturally has been asking for another pair that lights up. Ironman sneakers. He has only seen some Ironman preview a couple of times and saw the Ironman sneakers the last time we were at Payless. So I had to remind him, just as I have been reminding him for the last 2 weeks that I will not be buying sneakers that light up because they don't last long. And I also reminded him of how his movie Cars sneakers were all busted down and pointed out where the sole was coming off. I also told him that if light up sneakers get dirty, I can't wash them and he would be stuck with dirty sneakers. We found a pair of shoes that we agreed on but not without him picking up the Ironman sneakers and looking at them. He wore the new sneakers home and he hasn't mentioned Ironman or Light up sneakers as he calls them, since. Yet at the end of our little excursion, I thought about dinner and wished that I could have Cracker Barrel. (Because I just didn't feel like cooking-again).

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Well another birthday is here (10 days after Rocco's). Today, Noahkeem is 3 years old! He was the smallest of all my babies. 5lbs 110z and he is baby #3. And today, 3 years later he is proud to hold the titles of :Most Demonstrative, Most Likely to be Loud, & Most likely to be the first to call you "Poopy". I don't know where he gets the Loud Stuff from. Rocco was a quiet boy and never even made car/truck/lion noises. And Noahkeem never followed suit. I guess Noahkeem figured he was gonna shake things up a bit (and he has).

Why I love my Noahkeem

  • He seems to give me kisses when I need them. (i.e. when I'm clearly trying to do something important).

  • He has a plethora of facial gestures that confirm that he is one funny dude headed for stardom.

  • He has sayings like, "Yes, May I help you?" and "It's later now"

  • He is my only child who has ever eaten sidewalk chalk.

  • He is my only child who finds crayons tasty.

  • He is my only child who hides game pieces, playing cards, matchbox cars, pencils and other important kid stuff in the depths of the couch.

  • He is proud of peeing in both his pants and the potty.

  • He still likes to play baby.

Happy Mother's Day, To me!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Today I just had to say what was in my mouth. We went to the Children's Museum today . It was pretty quiet. No crowds, not many people. So as my crew got off of the elevator they excitedly ran over to an exhibit that they like to check out each time we go. As they did one of the works turns around and gives the one hand closed gesture as if to say, "shut your mouths your too loud". Then she said "Volume". I came toward her and stopped my big double stroller by her and said, "Is there a problem?" "Yeah the yelling and screaming..." Before she continued, I said "IT'S A CHILDREN'S MUSEUM, THEY'RE CHILDREN. CHILDREN ARE LOUD AND MINE ARE LOUD!" "KIDS , YOU CAN'T TALK". "Oh I didn't say that" she said. And we proceeded to another area. I was so annoyed. Soooooo annoyed. How are you going to tell children to be quiet in a children's museum? Clearly she was in the wrong profession. After a while I calmed back down and contemplated whether or not I should write a complaint to the membership director as this was the first day we used our new membership.

Later we went to the Planetarium, yes all of us went and there were children in there crying and talking etc and not once did the "Planetarium Guy" turn all the lights on and remind us about our volume. But once again at the end of the day do I decide to hold a grudge or do I just let it go?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Why does it happen like that?

Why is it that after you had your baby, Target comes out with all of these cute maternity clothes? I was in Target last week and saw tons of maternity clothes that I liked but there was only one problem, I had no need for them. Of course I didn't buy them but, I wondered why they couldn't have all of those cute dresses when I was pregnant with Dolly. Thats a pic of me pregnant with Dolly. My belly was so round. Very Very Basketballesque

Why is it that when I went shoe shopping for a pair of shoes to wear to a wedding this weekend, I came home empty handed? I went to Payless, Jc Penny's, Sears, Rack Room Shoes, and Naturalizer (not in that order). What I did find were shoes that had heels that were toooooo high or I couldn't fit my foot in them because they were too narrow. Interestingly enough, I know that God cares about every detail of our lives, (Psalm 139) . And I am utterly convinced that he wanted his daughter to be happy with her shoes. Would you believe that while I was in Payless I heard that still small voice reminding me of my shoes from my wedding that were sitting in the top of my closet. I thought to myself " No... I couldn't wear those, they are too off white". My dress is a pink gingham taffeta like material that is straight, knee length and has spaghetti straps that tie behind my neck. A dress I hadn't worn since Cookie was 1 (almost 7 years ago... the only reason why I kept it 3 more babies later was because I was hoping to squeeze into again someday... this Saturday will be that day) The shoes haven't been worn in 10 years and 9 months. And I thought that the next person who would wear them would be Cookie when she gets married in about 10 plus years from now. So about an hour after I got home, I took the shoes down and tried to try them on- of course I couldn't get my foot in them. My mother assured me that it was because I was on my feet all day and it was the afternoon . I tried to get them on a little later and they fit! My dear mother was gracious enough to come down (10 hour bus ride) to watch my kids so that Just Big D and I could go to the Wedding-overnight in the Empire State.

So needless to say, I'm excited but, I miss my crew already. Rocco is going to have his 2nd T-Ball game and I won't be there to see it. But they will do fine if they stay busy. They have tons of books and movies from the library, there are parks nearby, they have their grandmother, Nanny, the phone number to Papa Johns Pizza and my cell phone number. What else do they need?