Saturday, December 12, 2009
Amidst this weeks mayhem, I received a Christmas Card from a friend with a terminal illness. Her children were so precious in it. It made me cry. I realized how fragile life is and with each breath, whether we are in health or not, we are moving closer to eternity. It made me think about how important it is to keep growing and going, in spite of. It reminded me to move far away from everything toxic vying for my attention. It reminded me how sad it is to hold grudges. (Which is another post in itself). It caused me to remember family members who have not been a priority in my life for one reason or another. It made me think about how wonderful my children are despite meltdowns-theirs and mine. It made me concluded that my only new years resolution needs to be is not to waste the time I have been given.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
As I drove home tonight from my wonderful night of Xmas shopping, I turned on talk radio and of course what did I hear again? More dish on Tiger Woods. All I can say is, what Jesus said, "Whosoever looks on a woman and lusts after her has committed adultery in his heart". So what does that tell you? If your checking out a man or woman and your thoughts are running wild about how you can get busy with that person, Jesus says you have committed adultery. That being said, all of those that are cackling about Tiger Woods fail to see, that they probably at some time in their lives committed adultery too. I'm just telling it like it is.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Another matter of business to get out of the way:
- Why are we so concerned and caught up in Tiger Woods Drama? If he got his drink on and hit the tree so what? If he is having relationship issues.... so what? If he doesn't come out and say what happened to the media, so what?
- Why is it that commentators refer to Serena's reaction as a"hissy fit", which she was subsequently fined for when John McEnroe through hissy fits all the time and it was widely accepted, expected -even entertaining?
That being said, I am finally home after joining millions on the highway over the Thanksgiving Holiday. Day one back... Home Ec. Today dusted off our Xmas decorations and put up the Christmas trees. Its funny how so many used to bust on me for my years of artificial trees, and now they are the same ones who now put one up too. Artificial trees have come along way from when I was growing up. There are many replicas to choose from. You can even buy that smelly pine spray to make it smell more piney and Christmasy. That very pine scent is what causes me to get extremely nauseous and get severe headaches. Not to mention, with Cookies allergies, I just rather not have the "live" trees in my house. Each year I promise myself to get a bigger and better artificial tree but, this will now be my 12th year putting up my 6 ft tree that cost no more than $6 at a 90% off sale at a craft store in the Garden State which is now out of business.
Going on Thanksgiving holiday reminded me why I love where I live. First, my climate is mild, my streets less congested, my neighbors less pretentious and no one brings their dogs to the mall or transports them in little doggie strollers as if they are babies.... at least not this part of the state. (North of me? that may be the case). Either or, its annoying. Give me a break already! People care more about their dogs and saving the whales than they do about the homeless or aborting babies. Yes babies-not fetuses (but, that's another post for a rainy day).
Christmas holiday advice for Now til January 1, 2010:
And as always, in every holiday season I have committed not to over commit and to give a slow "yes "and a quick "no" and at the end of the day, it makes all the difference.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
- My 4 awesome kids- that make me laugh, cry, pray, dress up and be goofy and challenge me to be the best mother in their world.
- My wonderful babysitter- who is one of the sweetest, patient, loving and joyful young ladies I know... She's one of the few that I trust with my babies. She's one of the few my kids wish they could live with-forever.
- My 1st grade teacher Mrs. Morse... who taught me how to read.
- My mother, who cultivated my love of reading by taking us to the library every week.
- My 2 Modern gadgets I use the most- my cell phone & Ipod
- The beach-off season
- My New Life Church peeps who have prayed with me & for me and stood with me until those prayers were answered.
- Best friends-who live far away but have always been close to my heart
- My hammock
- My extended family
- "tommorows" because they also mean you have a second chance.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Back in July, I would say, "All I want is Dolly to be potty trained by August". In August, I would say, "I want Dolly to be potty trained by the New Year!" In October I began to say, "I want Dolly to be potty trained by Christmas... That's all I want for Christmas!"
Well, I am proud to announce that Christmas came early at my house.. Dolly has been potty trained for about 4 weeks now! At first, I was met with 3 consecutive days of dry pull ups and a little big girl peeing and pooping in the potty! I would of course call my mother and report my findings and she kept saying, "I think she's on her way!" 4 weeks later the progress has not stopped. 'DOLLY IS FULLY POTTY TRAINED'
I think milestones in childhood and motherhood should be celebrated. And in that spirit, I will be throwing my little big Dolly a Potty Party. She will have a cake, and gifts of big girl pants, and me, her mom will get a little diva purse- just big enough for keys, lipstick, i.d. and my ipod. I plan to invite her little big girlfriend Tisa over since over the last couple months she too has completed her ride on the potty train. I thought I never would be so excited about pee and poop in my life. Its just been all too wonderful not to have to change 30+ diapers and pull ups each week. Now if I could only find a way to cut down on all this laundry and get that pink cruiser, I would be on cloud nine.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Today Rocco asked me how many days til Christmas and I told him 50. Then it hit me.. That's not a whole lot of time. I somehow have to find some significant gifts for my four and decide if I should wait til January 1st to send a New Years/Christmas Card. Each year my list gets smaller and I will probably send out about 20 cards-if that. And that's completely fine with me.
We went to the mall today and the pointsettas and garland was everywhere- and I mean everywhere. I can not stand the crowds at holiday time so my plan is to get everything done before Thanksgiving.
I am proud to report that Dolly's potty training is going well. She is taking herself to the potty-even to poop. If she keeps it up she might even get a potty party. (a party to celebrate the end of pull ups, diapers, diaper cream, and diaper bags. And me, her mom going back to a small little diva purse).
Monday, October 19, 2009
The life lessons that I have been learning since I fell off the blogosphere is that Faith is not a feeling; If you have kids your faith in God-or who ever you believe will be stretched and tested, and if Jesus Christ is your Lord, then He will come and save you and answer you. If your faith is in something else or someone else, you may be disappointed.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
There were 2 envelopes on my bed one for me and one for Big D. Inside them there were love notes from all 4 of the children. They even gave us a paper chain that they made! It was the best surprise all day!!! We danced and laughed and acted like complete bobble heads and then I headed to the gym and they headed down the hall for baths. The "party" erased away all of the mundane annoyances of the day and I walked over 3 miles on the treadmill to boot!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Things that confirm that most adults have not grown up:
- A person flips you the bird after they cut you off and almost cause an accident.
- Adults who still try to convince you that they know so much more than you because they feel their old age equates more experience and not because they are self absorbed or not self-aware.
- They feel a sense of competition and intimidation if they weren't the ones who came up with your idea, dream or vision, instead of support all they can offer is...uh...nothing.
- If you are "real" with your feelings they assume you are manic or depressed.
- If you buck tradition and create your own or just plain do things your way, they get offended like you committed a crime.
Am I venting? Maybe.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Today was my 12th wedding anniversary. My 4 children made us breakfast in bed. The menu: Chocolate Milk, applesauce, waffles with strawberries and of course computer generated anniversary cards. With each special occasion that they surprise us with breakfast in bed, the meals get more and more edible. Downstairs on the kitchen table was a huge bouquet of sunflowers and lillies, all neatly arranged in a beautiful vase. At the foot of the vase was a tin box of chocolate candy and a heart felt card from Big D. We went to church later in the morning and then afterwards our awesome sitter came over. Big D and I prepared to go on our 6 hour date. We saw a play at the University's theatre, went to a Japanese restaurant afterwards, and then for desert at Starbucks.
The weeks before this precious day, my heart was reminded of so many great memories that my husband and I shared together as a couple and as a family. So much so that the not so perfect memories were constantly overshadowed. Big D and I met in 2003. From day one we were friends. My husband's heart has always been kind and thoughtful. When he makes me laugh, I bust out laughing- loudly. Those are some of the qualities I like about him, besides the fact that he's so darn cute!
We had an awesome honeymoon. We cruised the Carribean and later flew to St. Lucia for a few days- a land and sea vacation if you will. Over the last 12 years we have had 5 addresses, 3 pets (not including fish or hermit crabs), and 4 kids (all born during the Bush Administration might I add). Life has been nothing less than an adventure.
Some seasons have been filled with joy of new birth, some filled with the tasks of ironing out kinks in our friendship. Other seasons have been growth opportunities.
The life lessons that I have learned after 12 years of marriage is that the best gift you can give to each other is forgiveness and mercy. The best gift you can give your children is a great marriage. The best thing you can do for your sons is to respect their father; the best thing you can do for your daughters is to love their mother. Another best thing you can do for your children is to love on them and to swallow your pride and ask their forgiveness when you have wronged them-even in the times when you don't think you're in the wrong...whether they are 5 or 25. And that my friend, is where a lot of parents go wrong. Many say, "I tried my best" and for them it may be true, maybe they did try their best. As a parent, I try to be self aware and trust me I know what days I try my best and I know what days I don't. And for the record, this rant about parents, pride and forgiveness (hey that's a catchy phrase) is not art imitating life.
If there is ever a time to be set free from the bitterness, anger, and disappointments from childhood, adolescence and even adulthood, it is now. Holding on to those things will rob you from the relationship, companionship and fellowship that you desire with your spouse, your children and eventually your adult children and their spouses. That is not the legacy I want to leave. Sure I can point to many self help books and say, "Read this" or do this and your relationships will be straight. But I know, that all of those contemporary fixes are not long lasting. I can point to churches and seminars and podcasts and say, " If you go here, listen to this or attend this meeting, you will find peace". But I know in my heart, that tools are only good if you recognize them as tools, and use them and even so your strength will give out because often your battle is bigger than you are. So, I won't even steer you in that direction.
Yet instead, I'll point you in the direction of a book, that is considered outdated, and irrelevant and useless in many sects in our society, The Bible. Psalm 34:18 says, " The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed". (New Living Translation). I can list a million things that break hearts and crush spirits but I will name only one and that would be....... people. And when we live life operating out of hurt because we have been crushed or broken, we then hurt and crush others, often inadvertently and then those actions affect even more "others" and so and so on. But, there is hope. The Lord that is close to the broken hearted is just waiting to hear from you, your side of the story, your heart ache. His arms are open wide just waiting to heal every broken part of you. He longs to heal your crushed spirit, if you let him. So why do I have many posts that point to God, Jesus, and the Bible? I found Him to be the Pennicilin that is denied in many countries and is considered hostile to many people in the country that I live in. Yet each time I try Him, things work out and the evidence refutes all the lies that are told about Him. And I can not stop proclaiming His Truth.
So what does hurts and baggage have to do with love and marraige? (Isn't that a song?)
Our last 12 years have not been about pretending to be perfect or even sacrificing family for a job that would ensure we would have the most prestigious cars and designer clothes. We have simply been two imperfect people who were and are still being transformed and molded by a perfect, loving and merciful God. We have been allowed to see the beauty of God's love and the ugliness of sin and its effects in our lives. We have and continue to see, that God the Father loves and freely gives mercy and grace to His Children and that He delights in us. We have been given an opportunity each day to choose life or death with our deeds and words. His love for us has given us the boldness to declare that His Word is true and true love comes directly from Him. May our next 12 years be filled with a deeper level of friendship, more belly laughs and the reality of His presence that produces true love. That being said, let me remind you God is not mad at you, He is mad about you!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
- Rain brings a certain kind of peace and tranquility to me.
- Kids don't care about how many dishes are in the sink but, they take pride in setting the table.
- It's okay to make cookies, first thing in the morning.
- I love my children.
- There are plenty of hugs to go around.
- 2 pre-schoolers cutting paper together is a lesson in itself.
- My Psychology Degree & Leadership Coaching Certification has never been wasted by staying at home with my four awesome kids. The return on my investment is immeasurable.
- In an imperfect world, I know that I can trust in a Perfect Savior.
- I wouldn't trade my profession for anything else in the world.
- Nothing brings my 4 little people together like Milk & Brownies.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Rainy day #2, we went to the museum that has tons of hands on things to do and a planetarium to boot. We made it in the nick of time to an 11:30 show at the planetarium, walked/ran around to the exhibits, ate lunch in a very crowded cafe, then started on our way home. Notice I said started home. The trip to the museum usually takes 45 minutes but, I did not reach my town until 3 hours later. Why you might ask? Traffic, detours, & "short cuts" all of which was worth it when I was treated to a fish & chips dinner, complete with coleslaw, Texas toast, and corn on the cob steamed in butter. Full of cholesterol I'm sure but, oh so delish!
1. I am in no wise saying don't talk about or share anything with a friend or relative about your plight.
2. God created us to be in relationship with one another. He clearly sees the benefit of having friends.
3. He wants to be #1 in our lives-since he knows us best and has created us.
4. My blog and posts are not the end all in what God says. No blog is. You have to search the scriptures, pray and hear God for yourself.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with sharing and getting things out with a friend. There is nothing wrong with talking with someone who has a great listening ear. There is however a refreshment and resurrection that is birthed in you when you begin to spill it all out before the Lord. A refreshment and resurrection that only God can give. A refreshment that you can't find in a self help book. You will eventually move from a place of woundedness to healing. Not because of some mystically prayer or words you say but, because He is true to his word. He cares for you , so why not let him do his job?
Have we casted our cares on Him today or cheated ourselves out of the freedom and refreshment that comes when we do by choosing to vent on someone else that can do absolutely nothing to free us from all that weighs us down, from all that tangles us up and from all that keeps us bound?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Last Thursday was Cookies Birthday and it was great from beginning to end
Where are we today? Dinner is a little late and I had to put 3 people on lockdown for violating the house rules and will call them to the mess hall when the chow is ready. I have been looking through all of the useless "baby books" and am utterly convinced that several chapters were omitted. Trust me that was a joke. It didn't take long- scholar that I am, to realize that baby books were written with a Reese's Monkey in mind and my prodigies have never been book babies. What puts me over the edge today is that I know in Africa, Haiti and other countries and cultures, that families stick together and help one another so that no one is burdened by life.. They literally bare one another's burdens. Yet Americans are so isolated or self centered that we are too busy being busy to help one another or love one another. And that's the disadvantage of living far away from family. And if you think there is a lot of underlying sewage in this post-there is. I'll stop there though... I'll save my venting for my core workout.
On a happy note, My new lover is my flat iron. I used it today and if my "do "remains till tomorrow, I'll let her stay.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
My world has been its usual busy self since my last blog. Parties are over until Cookie turns 9 in 19 more days. Which of course means we need to get invites out now! I have found myself swatting at the flylady more than flying with her. I'm behind on 1 special sewing project and a scrap booking project to boot. One of my goals for the summer is to have Dolly potty trained by the end of August and that is an interesting story in itself. One thing that has been consistent in my crazy life is that my little Noahkeem- who lately I have been calling "Noe" (pronounced No-eee), gives me so many hugs during the day. He either sees I need one or he just wants to give me one. No matter how busy I am, I never, ever, ever, pass up his huggies. Each time he hugs me, the busyness of that moment freezes around me and nothing else matters in the world except for the love I feel for this little boy. And as I close this day, and see the vision of Noe hugging me in the kitchen, all I can hear in my head is "you matter to God". Even though Noe didn't say it, that is what I hear, "you matter to God, and you matter to me". Tonight, I pray that you would have the strength to love the unlovable and find the courage to forgive the unforgivable and to realize that in all the chaos that surrounds us, you matter to God. You matter to God! Love hard, Hug often.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Noah stopped growing in utero and I was induced this day 4 years ago-although he was full term. He was born 5 lbs, 11 oz. Because the birthday boy awaits, I'll have to quickly share my full testimony of my miraculous pain-free labor and delivery without an epidural . I first give credit to God, of course and the resource "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize.
He is such a wonderful son. He is also my most vocal boy. In one form or another, he will let me know how he is feeling. He is always giving me a hug or asking me, "Can I give you a hug?" then I can bet within the same course of the day, after that hug, he will tell me how mean I am.
Noahkeem has never failed to make me laugh or smile. Once he caught on what April fools jokes were, he has been on a mission to try to trick me, everyday. Stuff like, "Mom, there's a bug in your hair" or "Mom I spilled my drink" and then he follows it up with saying, "April Fools Joke!"
The highlight of these last four years besides his birth was, one day last year. I was sitting on his bed in the evening time, and I looked at him and said, "Noahkeem, you're a good boy." He turned around and looked at me with sincerity and said, "Mommy you're a good boy too!" and then he hugged me.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
The weekend is over and it was filled with a "good busy". As I type this I am compelled to share what I am thankful for.
- Friends who keep in touch
- Kettle Corn
- A little boy who gives me extra hugs through out the day
- A little boy who gives me high fives-on my shoulders
- A little girl who braids my hair
- A little girl that says "read me" and listens to the whole story
- A God who loves deep and is touch by everything that makes us laugh and makes us cry.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Unfortunately we then become trapped in a cycle of keeping up appearances while clearly dying or struggling and in desperate need of help or just simply friendship. But, you can't ask for any of those for fear of appearing weak. The aftermath of becoming transparent reveals several things about yourself and those you become transparent with:
- You gain a friend- they embrace you.
- Or You lose a friend- they treat you like a leper.
- You quickly see what kind of friend you want to be to others.
- You realize that all the love that is advertised among well meaning do gooders is not what its all cracked up to be.
- You realize quickly who has your back and who is in your corner.
- Your combined experience either cause you to run to the Cross or curse God.
I am so overwhelmed that the God of the universe knows that life can be all consuming and reminds us gently to "Cast all of our cares upon him- because he cares for us". He will give wisdom to any one who asks for it. And because life is what it is, good or bad- He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. It takes more energy to be fake and live under the pretense that life is perfect than, to run to Jesus and cry out to Him. He is there to help and is mighty to save. Why do you think he came? When will we realize He is more than just a Bible story?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
As of late I have been mourning again over the loss of my beloved crock pot that died from unnatural causes (the cord melted in between the ceramic insert and the unit it sits in). I have come to grips with the fact that I probably won't find another like it and will have to succumb to buying one that is digital. I just really miss throwing stuff together and turning the crock pot on and forgetting about it. Stuff like chili, beef stew, roasted chicken, roast beef, chicken soup etc. I never got a chance to make other yummy stuff in it because her death was so unexpected. I found myself at Barnes and Noble the other night looking at tons of crock pot recipes that went beyond soups and stews and all I could ask myself was, "Why? Why did my crock pot have to die and why hadn't I replaced her by now? " Nevertheless, I got hold of myself before I started to curl up in the fetal position and ball like a baby, and made a decision, "I will get a new crock pot that is built like a tank and she will do her job just like my dearly departed Rival and my house will once again permeate with the aromas of delicious meals that take hours to cook but are so effortless to create". Ladies and Gentlemen, I need to go crock pot shopping.
Friday, May 22, 2009
- We adopted yet another hermit crab yesterday who Rocco named "Adam"
- Today, I realized I had no hermit crab food and decided to give him dry oatmeal which he seems to like- alot.
- My lilac colored inpatients have tripled in size yet, I managed to kill the sunflowers, basil, and perennial mix that I started in doors, last month.
- Mother's Day was great.. Noahkeem bought me a fuscia colored mini dress from Target, Rocco bought me chocolate and Cookie presented me with an award from the local Ruritan Club. A certificate recognizing me as one of the areas "Supermoms" along with the essay she wrote that granted the award.
- Mom's night out has turned into Mom's Consecutive Nights out and has caused me to sleep late on several week days. (bad mommy)
- Dolly seems to be only napping in the car.
- Cookie is starting to cook more in the kitchen. This month she made Tacos and Cous Cous.
- I got into the zoo for free today-although I still had to pay for the kiddos.
- I'm sure there is more but it is late and the brain has shut down for the evening-hours ago.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Matthew 23:37[ Jesus Laments over Jerusalem ] “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! Two parts of this verse that jump out at me are, "How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings..." and the second part "but, you were not willing". There is a tenderness God wants to show us and he wants to brood over us and protect us, love on us and comfort us. Yet the latter part of that verse makes me think: Have there been times that I shot both the message and the messenger and didn't want to hear or "receive" the warmth of the wings of the mother hen because it wasn't the right mother hen, the right time or it wasn't glamorous enough? It just wasn't the right package? Was I not willing?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
It of course only plays one song and just knowing that she and mommy have a Pi Pod is good enough for her.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
- New moms need help-and usually they need more than just meals.
- New moms need lots of help over the first year of her new baby's life-even if its not her first baby.
- Pregnancy takes 10 months (40 weeks), It takes longer to get your pre-pregnancy body back.
- If/When your daughter/son has a baby, be helpful. That means be complimentary,cook, and clean...all done with a smile. She/he just bought your grandchild/children into the world-and that's a big deal.
- A new mom is usually very sensitive. Don't tell a her how much she doesn't look like her child/children -even if it is true.
- Cultivate a loving relationship with your children so that you will be welcomed when they begin their own family.
- Cultivating a relationship includes swallowing pride and saying I'm sorry-even though you felt as though you tried your best or even if you feel you have the right to be right..
- New moms need to hear the phrases: "I think you're a great mom", or even "Happy Mother's Day".
- You will parent differently than your parents, And your children will do things differently than you.
- Above all, never read into things. take things at face value. When in doubt ask, "What did you mean by that?"
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I usually make 1 meal in our house with a tiny bit of wiggle room. After being on solids for over 3 years, Saturday night we celebrated Noahkeem eating his first spinach salad-loaded down with ranch dressing of course. Sunday he ate another salad. I heard words echoing in the kitchen like "good" and "yummy". And they were all coming from my Noahkeem. The next day after church, Noahkeem helped make the salad. Which we all ate before dinner/supper/lunch was served. Last night-Monday he said in an Eeyore kind of voice, "Okay... I'll try the corn". As he chewed his corn, you could see that he was in terrible distress. (Distress being that corn did not rank on his list of yummy foods) He chewed and swallowed anyway and then the coughing started- no vomit though. Lots of coughing and then he simply stated, "Mommy, I don't like corn". Which was fine with me. This is coming from a little boy who is in love with chicken-any style, and had digestive issues a little over a year ago. So to all the moms out their who make one meal, keep persevering.. eventually they will try things that are green or look yucky.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
- Noahkeem finally ate his first spinach salad and had another today (an answer to prayer)
- Dolly ate a cucumber yesterday and managed to use the most band-aids this week
- Rocco is loving his school time. His eyes light up and his face beams with joy-most of the time. (another answer to prayer)
- Cookie is secretly planning all kinds of surprises for my upcoming 9th anniversary of my 27th birthday.
- I managed to clear my front beds of weeds in less than an hour and nearly filled what seemed to be a 33 gallon lawn bag.
- We planted seeds to grow indoors and they are actually thriving in the kitchen window quite nicely. (Zinnias, and 4 clementine seeds-Cookies idea)
- Most importantly, It still blows my mind that as imperfect as I am that the God of the universe keeps declaring His love for me. And this my friends is what He keeps telling me:
For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”Zephaniah 3:16-18. Did you ever stop to consider that God Almighty is in heaven, singing love songs over you? So this is what He keeps telling me. He love's us, Oh how he loves us! Imperfect, Loud, obnoxious, bitter, loving, unforgiving, happy, sad, sick, healthy, bound or free- whatever state we are in does not change His love for us and He is the only one that can fill that hollowness, that longing, that hunger -that void that we feel in our hearts. There's no magic formula, there's no secret, there's no special 7 step plan that will lead you to the path of fullfillment or contentment. Everything this world has to offer is so temporary. Salvation, peace of mind, redemption, forgiveness, ressurection, reconcilation and healing are only things that Father God can give. And if it is coming from Him, then you can believe it is everlasting. I used to think going to church and being good and doing good would make me a great person, I found out-that is not the way, (Isaiah 64:6). You can't earn salvation by doing good things. You may gain influence and acceptance from the world but, you can't work your way into a right relationship with the one who created you. You can't live a "good" life in order to fulfill you when Jesus already gave His life for you. God declares that He has loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Yet we question Him constantly. If you love me why is this or that happening to me? Why is there so much suffering? Why do people get killed? Why aren't people getting healed? Why is there so much injustice in the world? Why? Why? Why? This is what I know: God has used Many- and I mean many situations in my life to grab my attention so that my heart is turned toward Him so that He can demonstrate His love and ressurection power in my life. His power to heal, forgive, set free, restore, and strengthen. So that is the answer to why in many cases-( I can not answer for all cases). Being a mother, wife, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, and a friend coupled with all of the drama those roles can entail has driven me to my knees so many times to cry out before the Lord and to search Word to get the answers to the questions that life throws at me. And God has remained faithful. He always gives answers, ideas, creativity, strength, discernment and causes me to trust Him so that he can show me and others around me that He is sovereign and He knows what he is doing. He manages to show that He is not some far off angry being in the sky who is mad at me and ready to crush me for my sins. I often tell myself and those I love that GOD IS NOT MAD AT YOU -HE IS MAD ABOUT YOU. So my confession for the evening is found in: Romans 10:9 (New International Version)
'"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved". One simple prayer of acknowledging who you are, and what you are not, and the sin that seperates you from God, and asking for His mercy and asking for His Love and His Power to become real in your life like you have never known before.... that's all it takes. He will lead you and guide you on the narrow road that leads to true fulfillment. He's the Father you have been waiting for.
Kim Walker sings an awesome rendition of "How He Loves Us. Please click the link and give a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps
Monday, March 9, 2009
Now that I am a grown up, no one asks if I did my chores, they just notice when I don't. With 4 children and homeschooling to boot, I wouldn't dare try to do all the chores at one time. Although I do have a 1 hour home blessing hour that I do courtesy of http://flylady.com. More often than not my chores are divided by days , each day has an assigned chore, even though there are some things that are done every day i.e. trash, kitchen floor, dishes. But as life would have it after I moped the kitchen floor twice in the last seven days, the spills kept running like Niagara falls. Today we had an avalanche of milk in the a.m. followed by a downpour of apple juice in the p.m. In my brain I ask myself, "Didn't you just mop this floor?" But my mouth says, "you have to be more careful next time... get some paper towels and wipe up were it's wet." as if that calm little statement will prevent the next "accidental spill". Thursday is usually bathroom day where I thoroughly clean all the bathrooms and get my boys to tame the toilet with the magic of the all powerful toilet brush. This is there favorite job. But by the time the weekend is over or sometimes by the time Thursday night rolls around, I find a sad, sopping wet pair of underwear on the floor drowning in a little yellow pond. And finally somewhere between bath time and bedtime kisses a little 3 year old confesses that he had an accident on the floor. Now why didn't I notice this accident earlier you might wonder. It's because I don't usually come back upstairs during the course of the day unless I'm taking my 1:00pm union break after I put Dolly down for her nap and toss her dirty duds into the diaper pail- which is located in the infamous bathroom.
So tomorrow, I will do my chores again and thank God at the end of the day for kids who function normally and can go to the bathroom on their own, and for children that have hands that can grasp cups and spill the contents at the same time and for a house that has both a kitchen and bathroom to do all of this in.
"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
First of all, I can't stand the name the now famous mom of 8 has been dubbed. It intentionally makes her sound like some kind of monster. I have been thinking a lot about her and her children. There are so many questions that we have about this woman and how she will raise all of these children.
- How will she support them?
- What about their medical needs?
- What about their living arrangement?
- What about the other 6 kids she already has?
- Who is going to be a positive male role model for them?
- How will she feed them all?
It's been so easy to pass judgement on this lady. I have been guilty of it myself. But at the end of the day, I have to ask, what makes me think or what makes you think that because she has 14 children, some of which have medical problems, she will fail at being a mother? If she had money for invitro, doesn't that indicate that she has some dinero somewhere? Just maybe? How do we know that she does not have a plan or is making a plan when she is tenderly looking at her babies? I can't say I have seen any interviews with this woman. I have only witnessed the entertainment expose type hype on her. (As if I we can believe everything we hear in the media).
You know what just makes me laugh? When I hear about and see the Angelina Jolie resemblance and hear talk about how she's a crazed fan and wants to be just like her. Tell me how many of us have looked at a celebrity, got hooked on their sense of fashion and then purchase items similar to theirs to add to our wardrobe? But I guess you say that, you haven't gone as far as getting plastic surgery. Well then, how many times do you continue to emulate celebs and non celebs by constantly trying the latest diet to get trim or stay trim to be accepted?
What I should be asking is who in this world hasn't done something a little crazy to meet some unmet love need in our lives? Some people drink or are closet alcoholics. Some are addicted to shopping, some eat, some are promiscuous. Some meet that unmet love need by trying to live through their kids, making decisions for their kids, thinking for their kids, over scheduling their kids all in the name of unmet love. All hearts are hungry. And for those that could care less about God and think God is for the wackos of the world, they constantly go through life trying to meet this need for love. Jumping from one relationship to the next, buying just one more thing to make themselves happy, giving to one more good cause to make themselves feel good and convince themselves that they are a good person. If we pull back the curtain on our lives and tear down the facades, isn't their something all of us have been involved in that will reveal a hungry heart? Aren't there things we are still doing to fill that empty void?
This woman, this love hungry mom of 8 should be -in the words of an old cliche', "pitied not scorned". But, the poor children. What about the poor children? Lets be real, if we feel soooooooo sorry for her kids, we need to go down to Babies R' Us and fill our carts to the brim with things that she will obviously need and send them to her. If we think all of the children will be sooooooooooooooooo hungry, find out what grocery stores are in her area, and buy them a gift certificate. And we all know how tight it's going to be in that little house with all of those children, why don't we set up a fund for their family so that they can purchase a bigger home? In our slumping economy I'm sure, we can help her find a great deal on a suitable home. Oh but wait, that would be the selfless, philanthropic thing to do to an undeserving delusional single mother of 14 kids. We really don't feel sorry for her or her kids otherwise, why aren't we motivated to help her? I think we are all guilty of blasting people for making choices that in our eyes are stupid choices. I think we enjoy blasting people who do dumb things because we feel we are so much better than they are. And we are so convinced of that . Sadly in America, it makes us sleep better at night knowing that we are better than the next man or woman. That's often our sick measuring stick of self worth, whether we care to admit it or not. When in reality, we are just as if not more, hungry. Hungry for love.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
- God is in the sunshine that warms me on a cold day
-God is in they eyes of a little boy that asks, "Can I give you a hug?"
-God doesn't care if I haven't prayed for 3 hours before the sun rises
-Geckos are more afraid of me than I am of them
-I'm always learning something even though I'm not in school
-Good Friends are hard to find
-When you find a good friend, cherish them
-No one has it all together all at the same time-although it looks like it
-Chocolate will always be my #1 source for calcium
-I am still pro life
- I will always commit to honoring and praying for my President-no matter what his beliefs are
-I eat my kids valentines day candy when they are not looking
-Most contemporary Christian music requires too much decifering of lyrics to find out the message so I have chosen more often than not nowadays not to listen.
-I miss my mother today more than I did on the first day of kindergarten
Monday, February 2, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Rocco started basketball and each time I look at his face, he makes me smile. Most of my joy nowadays comes from my kids. Recently at bedtime, Noahkeem and I was sitting on his bed and he was telling me how proud he was of me. He looked at me and said "Mommy, You're a good boy!" That meant the world to me.
Speaking of the World, we now have a new president. I am proud to say that I was part of this historical day! I never thought it would come but yet am amazed it is here- An African American in the White House. Of course I had the television on allllllll day yesterday until it was time to leave for basketball and dance. Since this is my blog, I'll take the liberty of saying that I really don't care what so many naysayers have to spew about Barack Obama and what a poor president he will be. Usually these people do nothing in the political arena except for gab and if they hold a political office , they never ventured to run for the office of President. So I say, Who do you think you are? What makes you so great? What gives you the authority to spend more time in criticism of your President than energy in creating the change you want to see? President Bush was not God! Neither is President Obama. With all the negativity in our country one less voice condemning the country and its new commander and chief would be a breath of fresh air for some of us. Unfortunately most people think freedom of speech means "I'm free to say what I want".... I'm not even gonna comment on that, that's a whole other blog in itself.
I have not known one perfect president in history and if America was so set on having another Republican in office, then they should have supported John McCain like crazy and busted their butts and gave money to the Republican campaign. They should have been campaigning like the country depended on it. But did they? Or did they just talk about how great he will be as President?
And by the way.... If you haven't notice from my profile pic, I am a woman of color and I am ecstatic, that a man of color is in the White House! I am absolutely overwhelmed with joy and pride! I thought Beyonce's performance at the Neighborhood ball was absolutely tremendous! So please don't spew your hate message to me. Check the Word of God and see for yourself what it says about praying for the leaders of your country. Don't make yourself an authority on who God can and can't use! All throughout the Bible God used the most unlikely of people. Furthermore, lest you lead your children down a path of prejudice or racism, curb your tongue when your talking about your new President, Barack Obama. Because you are so passionate, they may begin to think that its not just his politics you hate but the color of his skin. You may inadvertently deliver the message that you don't care for a Black in the White House. Needless to say, I am fed up. Especially with "Christians" who supposedly love everyone who make it clear that President Obama is the Anti Christ. If you think you can do a better job, then by all means you have 4 years to build your campaign and I will see you at the poles.