Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The other man in my life

6 years ago at 12:42am my little Rocco was born. I was so excited about this baby boy. So in love with this little boy! He was a good little baby that didn't cry much except when he was hungry. Eight weeks later he contracted meningitis. I remember the day when I rushed him to the hospital and being told he needed a spinal tap. My heart just broke that day. I stayed with him in the hospital for several days. He made a complete recovery without any residual complications. He grew so fast those following weeks. It was no surprise that he outgrew his infant carrier at 4 months, weighing 22 pounds! (exclusively breastfed might I add). My next door neighbor would say to me, "what are you feeding him? he's a king size baby!" 8 months later, I found myself tying his first pair of walking shoes. I watched in amazement as this little king sized baby walked all the way down to the playground unassisted. 4 years after that , I watched him ride his bike down the street for the first time-without training wheels and it brought tears to my eyes. I knew he would grow up but, not this soon. This year, he began to read and fall in love with math.

In the land of motherhood some days feel as though time just stands still but, when I turn around and see how much he has grown, I realize, that time has indeed flown by. Motherhood is by far the most challenging yet rewarding vocation that I know. What you don't learn in Home Ec. is that changing a diaper is just as important as closing a deal. You don't learn that hugs and kisses really do make a difference-So give plenty of them to those you love. You don't learn that every once in a while it's okay to eat breakfast at dinnertime. You certainly don't learn that there is a window that is given to you only once, where only you can make an impact on the child you have been blessed with-good or bad, whatever impressions you leave will become part of his story when he is grown. You determine what kind of chapter you will be in, in his story. You determine what kind of parental baggage or banner he will carry around his whole life or check before boarding his plane to "the real world".
As I navigate through mommyhood, hearts cry is: Lord help me to continue to love this little boy and parent him on purpose and not be on autopilot and when I am wrong help me not be so prideful that I can not say "I'm Sorry". And not so busy that I can't look into his eyes when he is talking to me. But most of all, may the fingerprints I leave all over his heart be filled with love.

1 comment:

mcbeansl said...

omg...that is sooooo sweet. Tyler is my bff too. He rocks. I remember him worshipping with Briana and I as we sing songs to the Lord....that's when I was HOLY! LOL. Happy Birthday Tyler. I love you.