Friday, October 8, 2010

Stress beyond belief!

There I said it.. I'm stressing big time! I refuse to be labeled as perfect christian homeschool mom who has it all together. If it seems as though I do, it is an illusion. You cant judge a person by a glimpse you see on Sunday morning at church or on a 2 hour social outing. Or you can judge and compare and feel that you don't measure up. With life comes stress whether you have one child or 10. Unfortunately we live in an isolated society where family and friends compete against one another rather than reach out to one another. (This is where girlfriendsand bffs prove valuable!). I am so not, the perfect mother but, I will say I am not a worry wort and that I trust Jesus with a lot so things that typically would produce a freak out moment, do not. (And for that I have to give Jesus all the credit).

I have great kids but, it is a huge job training, correcting, guiding, building, and encouraging. It is a HUGE JOB. Some days that job starts earlier than others and I'm not down with that program. Several years ago "someone" made an insensitive comment to Big D while we and our children were out to dinner. The restaurant we were at had some wiggle room so the kids could flip around a little bit without management giving us the evil eye. So our "guest" said, after Big D was trying to wrangle the troops, "Your actions have consequences". If I weren't the conservative, person that I am I would have reached over the table and well.... use your imagination. "Your actions have consequences". What a nice thing to say to someone who was trying to be insure that their kids weren't disturbing others and that they were safe at the same time. Yet the comment opened my eyes how certain people feel about families with 4 or more. The bottom line is is that if your child fights, cries, whines, gets out of control, throws a tantrum or anything of the like- it is your fault because your unbridled sexual practices has caused you to have this brood of children that you cant control.- Good luck by the way, hope you can see that your actions have consequences.

Angry? Annoyed? You bet. All I have to say to that is, when things don't go your way, is it fair to say that -"your actions have consequences?" If your checkbook won't reconcile, you get into a car accident, you can't make a relationship work, is it fair to say that you should've been more wise with your money, you should have been more careful when driving or perhaps taken a different street, or you should have reached out more and that relationship would have worked and because you did none of these things- your actions have consequences? Let's get real! Life happens and it is full of difficulty-period. Here are a few basic things that my mother taught me that mean more to me today than they did 30+ years ago.

-If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
-Be careful how you treat people, you never know when you might need them someday.
- Treat others the way you want to be treated.

That being said, if you feel compelled to be helpful to someone who is struggling with their newborn or preschoolers or teenagers-be helpful. If you are compelled to comment about how its better them and not you, think twice. Although you might not be in the same position as they are, would it be comforting to you during you difficult "life" moment for it to be said, "Better you than me?" I think not.

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