We are 10 days into the New Year and I didn't quite know what to blog about first. Should I blog about how our New Years Party went? Should I blog about, how Me and Dolly sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" a song I haven't sung for years? Should I blog about how when we were driving down the road and she was trying to figure out the words to that song that the lyrics that rang in my head were "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, God has put you where you are"? & how I felt that God has put us where we are - for a reason?
Or should I blog about the teenager with the new I phone @ church who was texting during service and as much as I tried not to look, I tried even hard to see who he was texting and what he was texting without being obvious. And as I was trying to focus on the front of the room, and peek at his phone, I could tell he couldn't work that thing no better than I could and I figured he must've gotten it for Christmas and by the time he texted "Man" whoever he was, I lost interest and gave full attention to the sermon.
Well, I decided to let my first post of the New Year be about the Lies that I have been believing. And how Truth ultimately prevails. I got to be real here. I don't Bible Bash o or try to shove my version of Christianity down any one's throat but, given the opportunity to share God's Truth, I do, with no apologies. That being said, several days ago I had the opportunity to write out a prayer to God, asking Him to expose the dark parts of my heart, asking Him to shine His light on the hidden little compartments of my heart that I really don't think is sin.
After writing this letter, I began to think to myself: "What sin?", "What dark parts?", "I don't think, I'm that bad", "As a matter of fact, I'm often right-about alot of stuff". "I think, I'm pretty much good" "I think the people that I associate with are pretty much good peeps" All the strings of thoughts only amounted to one thing-pride. I stumbled across Psalm 14:3 & Psalm 55:3 and they both point to the fact that there is no one that does good. Not one person. No one is without sin. Now I know that these verses have to be read in context but, I'm just recanting what I have read in light of this pride that has been making its home in my heart and has now been served an eviction notice.
Yet the Lie- (capitalization intended) that I have been believing and the reason why I entitled this post as I have is not about pride it has everything to do with me buying into & investing my heart into believing that the Enemy of my soul- Satan is and has been more powerful than the Lover of my soul- Jesus. I have been so caught up in "darkness around me" that I felt that this God that I claim to serve was powerless and not as powerful as the enemy and my circumstances. I have bought into the Lie that Satan is more powerful and more omnipotent than God, and its so not true, and now that I have bought into it, and see the Lie for what it really is I want a refund! I want my time and energy I spent, and invested back.
But, I cant have it back. The time can only be redeemed by exercising my Faith in the Truth.
I have been so caught up in believing that any darkness in me and around me was so big, and so strong that it over powered and overshadowed any light that has been trying to shine on me or shine through me. I really have been succumbing to the lies that God is not as strong as he says he is. Lies that tell me that He is not strong as people have been telling me he is. The Lie "confirmed" this by pointing out the fact that the more I commit to Him-Jesus, the more it seems like evil and darkness prevails.
This same darkness causes me to spin, on many different levels, (too many too list), it causes me to become off task, and most importantly it causes me to get off focus, and distracted and loose sight of the Truth.e.
I feel as though the Holy Spirit turned a switch on in my heart & brain I feel like something has been lifted. I feel that He wants me to know- wants you to know that despite our upside down circumstances, it doesn't change God. God is indeed who He says He is!
There is nothing that will change His love, or reduce is love for you. There is nothing that I can do or you can do that will ruin His love for you. To me that is life changing. As simple as it sounds it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. A huge sigh of relief to think that I can't mess up or ruin God's Love for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the verses that has been special to me for so many years. It seems to follow me during different seasons of my life. Last week I read the Message Bible Translation of that verse for the first time and it said, "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for". Yesterday, a friend asked what I heard God saying and one of the things I told them was, Jeremiah 29:11. This morning I woke up to someone on television speaking about Jeremiah 29:11. Do you think God is trying to tell a sister something?
This morning I heard the verse differently. I heard that No matter what you are going through, your circumstances, your situation, and with all of the hurt, and all of the pain that you have experienced up until now, I (Father God) am not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you . I have great plans for you. I will come through for you. I have a great future-for you! Will you trust me?
Will you let me be who I say that I am? Will you let me show you that I am who I say I am for you?
Will you trust me?