After college, I had no intention of returning home. I was done with being at home and ready to be an adult (so I thought) and get far away from where I grew up. I got a job working at the corporate headquarters of a bank, as a credit rep processing retail credit card applications. I banked every paycheck and found a great apartment a month before my last semester in college ended.
I was so proud of myself. I felt so accomplished, so free and so full of myself! Not a single care in the world. My plan was on point and I made it out of school with zero student loans (thanks to my hard working mother). I was happy to be 20 minutes outside the buzz of Manhattan and not back in my hometown where I felt there was nothing for me.
But now many years and 500 miles later, I want to go home. Just for a quick minute. Not for a super extended stay. I cant imagine that what I feel is homesickness because it hasn't been home for me for so many years. Does that really matter?
Does time and distance erase the connection that we have with a place that was such a huge part of us? With a place that helped shape us into who we are today? Does time and distance make us forget the negative experiences, the places that gave us a sense of peace, people that made us laugh, people that disappointed us, people that took care of us?
Will going home make me appreciate where I am from and where I am now? Will going home make me want to hurry back to the place I now call home? Will going home answer my questions or create new ones?
Maybe I'm homesick...maybe not. There's only one way to find out.