I didn't realize that tomorrow will be September 11th until I heard someone mention it on the radio.
I thought back to how a normal 20 minute commute into Manhattan turned into an 8 hour ordeal of my husband trying to get home on that very scary day. I remember calling him and telling him what was going on and telling him to get near a tv @ his office. I remember him calling me and telling me that he was going to try to come home. I remember the next call from him telling me that he and a mass of people were trying to walk to the George Washington Bridge to get to our side but, the city shut the bridge down.
I remember when he finally made it home.
News broadcast after news broadcast flashed the horrific images across the screen and each time I watched I was horrified. I couldn't even wrap my brain around the fact that another plane went down that day, increasing the lives lost.
I remember going to Weehawkin, NJ and standing on the pier and watching the smoke billowing even 2 weeks after the tragedy. I remember feeling sick at the thought of how many people loss their lives.
I thought back to how my husband proposed to me at the World Trade Center Marriott and how it's no longer there. For many years, I wondered whether or not everyone made it out of the hotel before it collapsed. Or if some loss their lives while sleeping or in the shower-unaware of what was going on around them.
I remember the day I finally went back into Manhattan. I recall seeing so many memorials, flowers candles, letters and cards that covered the sidewalk and wrought iron gates of St. Paul's Chapel near Ground Zero.
I was speechless with grief and could not stop my tears no matter how hard I tried.
I can't even imagine the grief of those who lost someone they loved that day. I can't imagine how they did life through the grief.
I can't imagine how some did not get a chance to say good bye or I love you.
I can't imagine how quickly or slowly the victims entered into eternity.
I can't imagine boarding a plane, or going to work, never to return.
I can't imagine deciding to jump out of an office building window, because the thought of burning to death or dying in the collapse of a very hot, fiery, dark smoke filled building was the lesser of the tragic ways to die.
I can't imagine being trapped and surrounded by screams for help.
I can't imagine calling my family to say goodbye and hoping that the call doesn't go to voicemail.
This September 11th I will be thanking God, for the gift of life, praying for His continued protection for my country and those that I love. I will be praying for those still grieving, and praying for our enemies.
This day we will never forget.